You know, making these lists is a lot of fun. It allows me both to exercise my writing abilities and listen to music that I may have forgotten from my past. I got a lot of enjoyment out of ranking my most listened to songs last time, and I got to go in-depth on a lot of personal issues and make some jokes I thought were funny. So, to keep up the good mood I've been in since writing those, my 2023 revisited lists, and my 2017 lists, I've decided to keep the momentum going by writing lists for one of the most infamous years in pop music history - 2016.

2016's music was... not as bad as people act like it was. Sure, there were some absolutely abysmal stuff that year, which I'll be talking about here, but the best songs of 2016 are some of my favorites of all time. That'll be covered in a different article, but I'm here to discuss the worst of the worst. The worst music of 2016 was not defined by embarrassing flops. It was defined by boredom. Most of the songs on this list just sound like it didn't want to exist. Like it wasn't made from passion, but because the artist had nothing better to do with their time. It corrupted 2016's music scene like a plague, and is my theory on why the year has the reputation it has.

I listened to a lot of music in preparation for this list. The rules are as follows: A song must've: a) peaked within the top 50, and b) have had spent 15 weeks or less on the charts by the time the year started. If it fit those qualifications, I put it in a spreadsheet. I then proceeded to listen to every single song on that spreadsheet to determine my thoughts. There were 162 songs eligible for this list and the best list, and I narrowed it down to 20 total songs - 10 proper spots, and 10 dishonorable mentions. Hopefully, that shows what the worst of the year looked like as a whole. 

Without further adieu, the Landoman Experiment is proud to present...

THE TOP TEN WORST HIT SONGS OF 2016

#10.

One trend that I've noticed when reviewing the music of the years 2011-2016 is the high number of self-empowerment anthems, mostly aimed at women. The biggest one of these was "Firework" by Katy Perry, a song that I actually like. It has a catchy melody and, despite some clumsy lyrics, has a good vocal performance from Katy. Other examples include "Roar" by Katy Perry, "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten, "Brave" by Sara Bareilles, and "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor. As much as I hate to say it, most of these songs are not that good. I do think self-empowerment songs are important, and I don't want to downplay how meaningful these can be to people, but the ones that have hit the mainstream have consistently been bad with the exception of "Firework". For example....

[10] Scars To Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara

Before you get mad, let me say that if this song helped you, I'm glad. I know a lot of people struggle with their body image (including myself), so I can understand why a song like this would be meaningful and important to you. I know plenty of people that like this song, and there are millions more who love it because it genuinely helped them. I'm glad for them. That being said, I personally think "Scars To Your Beautiful" fails at what it's trying to achieve. That's not because it's heart is in the wrong place, I don't believe that at all. It's because a "body positivity anthem" should actually sound like it's trying to be positive. It shouldn't sound like a moody, boring song with no personality or life within it.

Yeah, most of the reason this song made the list is because I just think it's too dull to work as a self-empowerment anthem. Sure, the percussion in the chorus has some life to it, but that's about it. The verses are monotonous and boring, and the way she sings them just bothers me. She puts these weird spaces between the middle of sentences at points, while singing two sentences back to back really quickly in others, and it just feels inconsistent. I don't hate her voice (I think she's really good on "Here" and Zedd's "Stay"), but the technique is what makes her performance wrong. There's also the use of the highly generic whoas in the chorus that try to add some depth, but end up making even more one-dimensional.

I do appreciate the message of this song, but there are moments where I question. Part of the reason I said this isn't trying to be positive is because the verses show a very... dark side of negative self-image. The first verse shows a girl cutting herself because she wants to be "beautiful" like a sculpture and "noticed". The second verse shows another girl starving herself so she can look like the girl on the cover of a magazine. While I understand putting these in here to show the lengths people will go to change themselves, part of me worries that young girls hearing this might misunderstand the song and get the wrong idea. I'm not judging the song's quality off that, though - it's mostly here because it's just... boring. It doesn't do anything special musically to elevate it to the level of an anthem like "Firework" or "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)". 

I'm also slightly confused on the title line - "no scars to your beautiful". I suppose it means that "you're imperfect, even your scars help make you beautiful", but there's no depth behind that for us to draw out a clear meaning. I'll just assume it means that, because it'd fit the best with the meaning of the song. Once again, I'm not mad at Alessia for making this. I'm glad she's willing to try and help young girls get a better image of their body in a world that points them in the wrong direction. I just think it fails from a musical standpoint, not featuring enough power or bombast to really be empowering. If you want a song that has a similar premise but succeeds on a musical level, "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz is an excellent song that I'd consider checking out. Once again, I know Alessia's heart is in the right place, but when you make a song with very little power or positivity in the music, it's hard to really accept this as an empowerment anthem. 

#9.

2016 saw a milestone achievement for somebody who would become the biggest artist in the country in just a couple years. That's right, 2016 marked Drake's first solo #1 single. That would be "One Dance", a song that featured Nigerian singer Wizkid and sampled British singer Kyla's song "Do You Mind". Honestly, "One Dance" isn't a bad song. It's got a nice, catchy instrumental and the bridge is really cool. I don't think it's spectacular, but for Drake's first solo chart-topper, I'd say it isn't a bad pick. There are absolutely worse songs you could've picked to hit that milestone. Like, at least it wasn't this!

[9] For Free - DJ Khaled (feat. Drake)

The irony of using that segue is that... this isn't a Drake solo song. I mean, it feels like it. DJ Khaled probably didn't even produce this, knowing him. He's more a marketing tool at this point than an actual producer. I mean, this doesn't sound completely terrible. It's actually got a nice upbeat melody that's pretty catchy. So, why is it here? Well, "For Free" is a song in which Drake brags about being a sex god. That sentence made me laugh a little bit while saying it, because Drake does not radiate that whatsoever. In fact, this song is so bad that it makes me genuinely believe that the only reason Drake made it is to overcompensate for his lack of sexual skills. 

Let's go over the lyrics to this song. The first verse features Drake talking to this girl. He brags about "lasting" for "223,000 hours", which, according to my calculations, is 25.4 years. Look, I get that it's an exaggeration, but that's a stupid one. Over-exaggerating to the point where it's outright ridiculous makes you look like you're desperately hiding something. Then he references Kendrick Lamar's "For Free? Interlude", which aged quite well (lol). None of the lyrics in the verse are really quite as bad as the first one I referenced, but then things get a little... weird.

The second verse of this song confuses me to the point where I start to genuinely wonder if I misunderstood what Drake is trying to say. He then starts talking about how this girl is a "freak" and that she "throw(s) it back like one love". This makes me question - is the chorus referring to her and not him? Is the line "is this sex so good I shouldn't have to f*ck for free" from the girl's perspective? This lack of clarity turns a stupid song into a confusing song, and there's nothing I hate more than being confused. If I don't know what your song is trying to say, you made a bad song. I can see it from both perspectives, so maybe that's what he was going for? I don't know. All I know is that, either way, it's tedious because he's either being misogynistic, or he's being overconfident. Both of those are awful.

"For Free" isn't Drake's worst song, but it may very well be his most embarrassing. You have to sell it, Drake, and you don't. You come off as an overconfident, arrogant douche bag who only uses women for sex. If there's anything the last few years have taught all of us, we don't need you in music anymore. We have much more talented people who make much better music than this. Respect is earned, Drake. You may have earned it before, but it's not just given out for free. 

#8.

It's hard for me to believe that Disney movies have had such a big effect on the charts. There are lots of examples of singles from Disney's films that have hit the Hot 100. These include "How Far I'll Go (Moana), "Little Wonders" (Meet the Robinsons), "A Whole New World" (Aladdin), and "Colors of the Wind" (Pocahontas). Well, in 2016, a Disney movie from the previous year managed to spawn a song that became a hit on the Hot 100. That would've been fine, if it wasn't for the fact that it was one of the most boring songs I've ever heard in my entire life.

[8] Let It Go - James Bay

Wait... you're telling me this isn't the song from Frozen? Okay, that makes more sense. I thought I remembered that song being fine, but I guess I just assumed that it was that song since it had the same name. In all seriousness, I really don't know what to say about this song. There's nothing interesting about it. There's nothing interesting about the man who made it. It doesn't have anything interesting to say, and says that nothing in one of the most dull, lifeless songs I've ever heard. I suppose I should actually attempt to analyze it, though, as much as I really don't want to.

Lyrically, what is "Let It Go" about? Well it's about a breakup, and the title line is James telling this girl to just let it go. Simple enough, right? Unfortunately, James forgot to actually do anything with that concept. There are plenty of songs that have a storyline similar to this, but those songs all have depth or interesting music. This is just nothing. A truly honest and heartfelt song requires some effort to be put in, and this just has none of it. The guitar line is utterly generic, the singing is overwrought despite a quiet instrumental, and the contrast just creates a boring, unfinished-sounding mess of a song that's too cliche to be relatable while also being too minimal to be interesting.

So who is James Bay exactly? Well, he's a British (of course) singer-songwriter who debuted in 2013. This song was released on his second EP in 2014, but wasn't actually a hit until 2016. It picked the perfect time to become a hit, I suppose. It falls right into the main trend of the year - music that lacks passion. I don't hear passion in this song. I hear a song that was made out of obligation. Bay lacks the fundamental thing required for music to do what it was meant to do, and it is plainly obvious. Now, I've listened to his other stuff, and this is easily his worst song. He's actually got some pretty good songs, like "Up All Night", his collaboration with the Lumineers and Noah Kahan. He's also got an EDM collaboration with Marshmello and Alesso that's surprisingly not terrible. He's not untalented. It's just unfortunate that his biggest hit was his most nothing song.

"Let It Go" isn't even the most boring song of 2016. That's the worst part. The instrumentation on this song is more interesting than some of the songs we have left to talk about it, and it's so bare-bones that it's safe to say that James dug up somebody's grave to produce it. There is nothing special about this song. It's trying to be some heartfelt message of pain and sadness after a breakup, but it doesn't convey the emotions well enough to even do that despite James sounding like he got hit in the balls with a baseball bat. If your song is so lifeless that even desperate crooning can't help it, then I don't know what to tell you, man. 

#7.

This is going to be a strange entry. One of these songs wouldn't even be on the list if I was counting them as separate entries. I mean, they're still bad, but they're not necessarily bad enough that I'd want to talk about them separately. So, what gives? To be completely honest, the problem with these songs is that they both happen to exist on the same album, by the same artist. But... that's how every pair of songs off the same album works? Why is that a bad thing? Well, with these songs, the studio executives really needed to use some critical thinking before forcing this poor girl to sing them.

[7A] Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya

[7B] Hide Away - Daya

Popular music is no stranger to young artists who really don't play a big part in the decision making, so it won't surprise you to learn that Daya barely had any hand in writing these songs. She's credited on "Hide Away", but she isn't on "Sit Still, Look Pretty". That makes sense, because she was 17 when these came out and teenagers (apart from, like, Billie Eilish) aren't really known for their songwriting skills. That being said, she's not the worst part of either of these songs. Her voice is somewhat unique, and while it isn't my favorite in the world, it's not bad. I like how "Sit Still, Look Pretty" sounds at least, and "Hide Away" has some impressive moments vocally. So, why are these songs on the list? Let me explain.

One thing I have no patience for is a hypocrite - somebody who says one thing, but acts completely differently. I'm not necessarily saying Daya is one in real life, but these songs paint her out as someone with very inconsistent feelings that sway the opposite way from one moment to the next. How so? Well, that has to do with what these songs are about. 

"Sit Still, Look Pretty" is a classic feminist "I don't need no man" type song where Daya talks about how much she doesn't want to be a trophy wife and how she is going to rule the world. One specific lyric sticks out to me for this specific discussion, though. That lyric is "this queen don't need a king". Keep that lyric in mind when we talk about the other song, but overall, this is just a less-than-mediocre pop ballad with very cliche lyrics that honestly don't sound like they were thought through at all. 17-year-olds aren't thinking about 9-to-5's, picket fences, and trophy wives. That's what misogynistic studio hacks think 17-year-old girls are thinking about. This song sucks, but it's more like 3/10 bad instead of the 1 or 0/10 bad I put on this list. That's only before the other song...

"Hide Away" by Daya is one of the worst straight-up pop songs I've ever heard. Honestly, not a lot of music in the "pop" genre get on my nerves enough to be higher on these lists (I think the highest one was "Unholy" and honestly that barely counts). Granted, most pop songs aren't this. "Hide Away" just has some really clunky production, with this super bouncy synth that's laminated in reverb while the percussion just tries its best to overwhelm you. The chorus on this song has some of the worst dance-pop production I've ever heard. All that is before you even get to the lyrics and, yeah. They suck. This song is essentially just Daya asking "why can't I find a good man?" while giving no signs that she's the girl that her "Mr. Right" would actually be looking for. It's a desperate, pathetic cry for love that gets more embarrassing as it goes on.

That begs the question, what's the hypocrisy I'm talking about here?

Despite the fact that she "don't need a king" in "Sit Still, Look Pretty", "Hide Away" shows her desperately looking for a man, meaning that these two songs contradict each other. While "Hide Away" did come out first, which may just mean that she changed her viewpoint in the 5 months between these songs' releases, I find it more likely that the people who wrote these songs for her just either didn't care or didn't notice. I don't know which one of those is worse. 

Overall, Daya seems to just have been put in an awkward situation. She's been forced to sing two songs that represent a studio executive's screwed up view of what a teenage girl thinks and believes. Nobody's telling teenage girls to be a trophy wife. Nobody's telling them they need to find their man right this instant. Maybe no-life whackjobs, but that's it. My point is, though, that if you want your pop music to work on a deeper level, you need to be consistent in what you believe. Or not. Apparently the American public didn't care. We've dealt with hypocrites in politics, what's one in our popular music? My Lord.

#6.

Back when I was younger, I used to participate in my middle school's talent show. It was a fun experience getting to perform in front of a lot of people, and it helped give me confidence from a musical standpoint. I ended up performing 7 total times from 5th grade to senior year, with one year being cancelled due to COVID-19. Why am I bringing this up? Well, there was this song that happened to be performed during 4 separate years in a row. The song was one I wasn't particularly fond of, but what made it worse was that it was by kids who just straight up couldn't sing. Now, I'm not just going to put a song on the list because of a bad talent show performance. That would be disingenuous. No, I just have nothing to say about this song because it's one of the single least interesting songs ever made.

[6] Lost Boy - Ruth B

I apologize, James Bay. You apparently didn't put out the least interesting song of 2016. Instead, we get this song which is everything music shouldn't be. The instrumentation is just a nothing piano ballad where Ruth B doesn't play anything more than basic chords that a 10-year-old should be able to play. I also just don't think her singing is that great. It's fine, I guess, but fine isn't good enough when you're surrounded by such nothing. I don't know if I've ever heard a more nothing-sounding song in my entire life. I will give it one thing, though. At least making a song about being a Lost Boy in the realm of Peter Pan is somewhat original. 

That being said, despite a competent premise, that's about it from a lyrical standpoint. There's nothing clever or special about any of these lyrics. It just explains what a Lost Boy is and the basic premise of Peter Pan. Nothing is mentioned about the fun things they do, other than slight mentions of pixie dust and a "cloud of green", whatever that means. She sings "I am a Lost Boy from Neverland, usually hanging out with Peter Pan", and it seems like she barely knows what the Lost Boys even are. She doesn't give any intricate or interesting details. It doesn't use the plot of Peter Pan as a metaphor, instead opting to just give the most basic, boring retelling possible. 

"Lost Boy" isn't a song made with passion. It's a song made by a bored kid who didn't have anything better to do but posted it anyway for the reason of "I might as well". If it was going to work whatsoever, it should've had some gusto behind it. It should've included something to make it sound magical and fantastical the way the actual Peter Pan story is. Without any excitement or passion, it just sounds like a half-done school project by a middle schooler. In that context, I'd give it a C-, but in this context, it gets a big fat F.

I don't have too much more to say about this. "Lost Boy" is one of the worst examples of boring, uninspired popular music I've ever heard, and it's only this low on the list because it wasn't made by some professional singer, but just some random girl. Instead, the blame for this song's success goes to the record executives who saw her on Vine, thought her boring, miserable slog of a song would be something worth pushing. Let's be glad we don't have anything this unfathomably boring on the charts currently. We don't deserve that.

#5.

One question I have to ask myself going into these lists is this - is it better to be boring or obnoxious? Boring songs are obviously bad, but there's nothing really you can say about that type of bad other than that it doesn't have any substance to it. With obnoxiously bad songs, there's a lot more you can talk about. This entry is one where I feel like there's a lot I can say, and it just happens to be another song that my school decided was worth slamming into everyone's minds for no apparent reason. This one was used as a cheer theme. While I can see why, I don't see why they decided to use a dubstep remix that made an already garbage song sound even more like garbage. That's beside the point, though. My overall point is that when it comes to self-empowerment anthems, it's somehow better to be boring than obnoxious.

[5] Me Too - Meghan Trainor

Meghan Trainor is one of those artists who I just find to be artistically incompetent. There's not a single song of hers that I would willingly listen to. Honestly, that's probably mostly due to the genre not being my thing, but even then, I think most of her songs are just not good. "No" was also not that good, "Dear Future Husband" sucks (I'll get to that in 2015's worst list), and "All About That Bass" is probably her best single despite body-shaming skinny women. That's not even mentioning the atrocity that is "Mother", a song where she butchers "Mr. Sandman" and tries to co-op gay slang even though she has no idea what on Earth they're talking about. Out of all of these, I'd say "Me Too" ranks as one of her worst because, despite its best efforts to be empowering and upbeat, it portrays Meghan as an entitled, arrogant person while also sounding like it was made in a lab to be as annoying as humanly possible.

I'll start with the production here. Some critics said this song actually sounded pretty good, and I don't agree there whatsoever. While it does have a slightly catchy looping instrumental, the synth the producers use sounds like it's overly swamped out. The bubble popping in the background is obnoxious, and I have no clue why they thought that was an acceptable sound to use. During the bridge, it turns into this trumpet-led buildup, and goes straight back into the same sound as the verses for the chorus, which I don't think really works. Then there's this weird "turn the bass up" line that has a filter run over it to make it sound like it was sung by Minnie Mouse being run through a blender. The song is this weird mess of ideas jammed into one another that just does not sound good.

Then there's the lyrics, which, oh boy. Look, Meghan seems like a nice person in real life, but she does not come across that way in this song. I don't blame her for loving herself and having confidence, but bragging about a gold necklace and how you never pay for your drinks makes it seem like you're out of touch with the real issues women are facing. Then there's the title line, "If I was you I'd wanna be me too". Meghan, let's be real. If anyone actually wanted to be you, it'd be so they could make better music than this hack garbage. Apparently this song was written by.... Jason Derulo? What? Are you kidding me? The "Wiggle" guy tried to write a women's empowerment anthem? LOL. LMAO. WHAT. No wonder this sucks so much.

I've somehow gone this whole segment without mentioning the controversy behind this song's music video. The original music video featured Trainor's waist edited to be smaller than it was in real life. This was a big controversy, considering how Trainor was a body positivity activist yet let this happen. Trainor said that she didn't approve that and they eventually re-released the video to de-edit that part, but part of me wonders if this was a stunt meant to generate publicity. If it was, I think that de-values the entire point of Trainor's body positivity movement. If it wasn't, and Trainor genuinely didn't approve of it, then I feel kind of bad. I'm only mentioning this to highlight the bigger picture, but this song is just awful. It's like if Meghan Trainor tried to make a Beyonce song and it's one of the worst things I've ever heard. Genuinely awful.

#4.

I've been somewhat alternating between the boring songs and the more interesting songs on this list. Trust me, that's not unintentional. I didn't want to talk about "Let It Go", "Lost Boy", and this song all in a row because, well, it'd be 3 straight entries of me saying basically the same thing. I also do genuinely think this is the correct order for this list, though, as I think both of those songs do more better than this song. This song isn't on this list because it does a lot bad, but it's on the list because it doesn't do anything good. "Lost Boy" at least had a slightly interesting premise, even if it did nothing with it. "Let It Go" had some musical cohesiveness to it despite being utterly bleak. This song, though, does neither of those. It's both musically uninteresting and has one of the most generic premises I've ever heard. What could this song be? Well...

[4] I Hate U, I Love U - gnash (feat. Olivia O'Brien)

Out of all of the boring songs in 2016, "I Hate U, I Love U" is one of the worst. That's not an opinion, that's just reality. I usually don't act like a musical take is an objective fact, but the truth is that I don't understand why a single person, in any situation, would want to listen to this song. It's got one of the most boring instrumentals I've ever heard, with somehow more basic piano than "Lost Boy" and awful finger snapping percussion that you can barely hear. I honestly feel bad for Olivia O'Brien here, who wrote the chorus when she was 16 years old and eventually collaborated with Gnash to turn it into a full song. I don't think her voice is terrible, and the chorus had some potential if you used emotional weight in the bridges to make it cohesive, but this song doesn't do that. Instead, Gnash, who might actually be the single most boring rapper in existence, wrote an entirely different song around it.

This song doesn't make any sense as a duet. Olivia's part and Gnash's part don't feel like they're singing about the same situation. Olivia is singing about someone who's with another girl and that she'll "never be her". Meanwhile, Gnash is singing about a girl he claims is still in love with him that he misses. If Olivia was singing about him, this wouldn't make sense, since the guy she's singing about is with another girl, while Gnash clearly misses this girl and still wants to be with her. There's also the weird contrast of Gnash randomly saying curse words like four times in a row during the verses. I don't mind cussing in music obviously, but it just feels odd next to the sparse instrumental and sincerity of the rest of the lyrics. It makes it feel less sincere and makes me question how much Gnash actually cares. What's the opposite of consistency? Does any of this even matter, though?

This song isn't on the list because of the "consistency of the lyrics" or awkward lyrical decision. While I don't think it's anything special, it's just a generic breakup song from that standpoint. No, this is entirely here because this just sounds incomplete. There are literally only three musical elements here - the pianos, which are stupid levels of basic, a slight drum percussion, and the finger snapping, which aren't good at all. It's a baffling choice to have this song be so bleak and filled with no spark of intensity whatsoever. A good breakup song would convey the emotional confusion the singer is going through by having it get more dramatic as it goes on, but this song doesn't do that. It fails on every single musical level by not doing anything to make it get bigger as it goes on, instead opting to just be continuously boring.

This brings me back to the beginning of this entry - who on Earth would want to listen to this? How does this song have almost 1.5 billion streams on Spotify? How does this song's music video have 800 million views? What is the appeal here? I guess it has to be Olivia O'Brien's voice, right? Her solo version of this song is honestly a lot better than this. So, that leaves Gnash. I tried listening to some of his other stuff to see if there's anything, but I didn't really think anything he did was worth much. Even his feature on MAX's "Lights Down Low" is just not really good. At least that wasn't this. This song can just go away. I'm not sure anyone would even notice it disappear.

#3.

So, I don't know how many of these lists I plan to do, but one year I want to eventually cover is 2007. I find that year to be a very interesting look into the late 2000s and the trends that define the era. I won't go too deep into it now, I'll save that for later, but I will talk about one song that would probably make the worst list if I get to it. That is "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. This is a song where Avril harasses this guy about how his girlfriend isn't good enough for him and that she could be his girlfriend instead. That song has very little going for it other than the fact that it is pretty catchy. The same can't be said for whatever Shawn Mendes was going for here.

[3] Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes

Shawn Mendes' breakout in 2015-2016 continues to be a baffling mystery to me. I mean, I get why. Girls found him cute. That did not translate into music worth listening to, and boy does it show here. "Treat You Better" is just a flat-out disaster. It's an r/niceguys anthem disguised in Justin Bieber-flavored coating to make it seem appealing when it actually comes across as straight up appalling. Seriously, this song makes me gag. I compared this to "Girlfriend" in the intro because it's basically the same thing, but somehow even more obnoxious and despicable. I absolutely hate every single thing about this song, so let's dig further into it.

Let's start with the production, which... this is just "Stitches" again. Okay, okay, it's different from stitches in some way. It's much more clunkier and generic than that one, which makes it worse. It sounds like a discarded Ed Sheeran track that didn't make the cut for any of his albums. It's awful. It makes an already bad song even worse by comparison, but that's before we even get to the lyrics, which... oh my God. Shawn spends the entire song telling this girl how he can "treat her better" and that she should "be with [him] instead", not giving a real reason why he's the guy and why he isn't. Sure, the music video portrays the guy as an abuser, but nothing in the song indicates that. If you detach the song from the video, it just portrays a pathetic loser trying to gaslight a girl into believing he's going to be the love of her life. In what universe would this ever work?

That's not even the best part. He sings the chorus, and says all of this, and then.... he yelps "BETTA DAN HE CAN" at he top of his lungs with the ferocity of a guinea pig. It's genuinely the single funniest moment in pop music 2016, except for maybe the "LUKAS GRAAAHAM" in "7 Years". This somehow makes the song not just morally reprehensible, but a laughable disaster that somehow blurs the line between pathetic failure and disgusting incel. Shawn Mendes is lucky he isn't ugly, because this type of song would get him on a list if he was. Seriously, if I sang this song to someone, they'd call the cops on me, and they'd be right to. I have never heard someone trying so hard yet failing so hard at the same time. It's genuinely impressive how this both makes me angry yet makes me laugh whenever I hear it. 

There's a strong argument to be made that "Treat You Better" is the worst hit song of 2016. I've seen numerous people make that argument, and what am I supposed to do? Argue with them? They're probably right. This song celebrates being a desperate loser who goes after girls who are already in a relationship by trying to convince them that they'll be treated better. It's a perfect encapsulation of everything wrong with letting teenagers become pop stars. Immature behavior combined with bad lyrics and awful singing. Shawn Mendes is what would happen if Lewis Capaldi tried to be Justin Bieber, and the result is one of the worst-sounding, worst-written, most disgusting songs in recent memory. Let's leave this song in 2016, where it belongs.

#2.

Now, I know I got angry in that last segment, and I feel justified there considering everything that "Treat You Better" represents. That begs the question - how are there 2 songs worse than it? Well, to be honest, it's because the top 2 worst songs of 2016 are some songs that genuinely just infuriate me. I'll try to be a little more nuanced in these sections, but just know these songs activate something in my brain that makes me feel a gigantic sense of hatred. Sadly, one of these is because of outside context that comes in and turns what would've been a perfectly mediocre song into an awful one. I normally don't like to do that, but there are some artists where you just can't eliminate it at all. 

What I'm trying to say is that #2 is a Chris Brown song.

[2] Back To Sleep - Chris Brown

Chris Brown somehow manages to continue being one of the biggest acts in R&B despite the fact that he might actually be one of the worst people in the industry. Sure, he isn't R. Kelly or P. Diddy, but like... God. I don't know why people continue to give him this much success, because I surely don't see the appeal in his music whatsoever. He's a mediocre singer who continuously makes bad song after bad song and yet people still love him. He's got a huge international fanbase and diehards all over the world, including women, who would do anything to meet him. However, this list is about the worst songs of 2016, not the worst people of 2016. No, Chris Brown is on this list because he made a song that blatantly celebrates rape culture.

I'm not going to hold back here. The lyrics of "Back to Sleep" are about how Chris Brown wakes up this girl by having sex with her, and tells her that he is going to "fuck her back to sleep". That is rape. What he just described is rape. Sure, the song depicts it as a couple in a loving relationship, but the way he sings it just feels wrong. Maybe that's because it's coming from him of all people, but there's a condescending nature to his voice that makes me feel like the girl just isn't into it. There's also lyrics about taking a spare key to her house so he can come in and bang her whenever he wants. Gross. Then he says "I'm not sorry that I woke you up", which further implies that she's not into it whatsoever and that she just wants to go back to sleep instead of being forcefully penetrated by this monster.

It also doesn't help that this song is mixed like utter garbage. The song features the most generic drum machine production I've heard this side of "Crank That (Soulja Boy)", and Chris Brown's voice is layered like 4 times over to make it sound like an evil barber shop quartet. It's some of the worst production work I've heard on one of Chris' songs, which is crazy considering "Don't Wake Me Up" exists. Funny, he doesn't want to be woken up, but he's perfectly okay waking someone else up without them wanting him to. The irony.

"Back To Sleep" is one of the worst songs to ever hit the Hot 100, and is one of the worst songs Chris Brown has ever made. It shows just how messed up his perspective on life is, to the point where he thinks casual rape is okay. There's nothing cool about this Chris. You're not some badass who gets all the girls, you're a creep who's willing to do everything he can to overpower someone and force them to do things against their will. The fact that you're still having global hits to this day is an embarrassment to the entire world, and we should all be ashamed of the fact that you're one of the biggest stars of all time. You can jump in the Volcano for all I care. I'm done with this.

And now, before we get to the worst hit song of 2016, some dishonorable mentions.

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

[DM1] Gold - Kiiara

I'm not even exactly sure what this song is, let alone why it was one of the biggest hits of 2016. From what I've heard, this girl bought her way to success by somehow getting Spotify to manipulate their playlists to include this song even when it wasn't there. For that alone it's one of the worst songs of the year, but it also sounds like it was Frankenstein-ed together by someone who thought Zedd wasn't trying hard enough. Terrible.

[DM2] Mama Said - Lukas Graham

If the Danish didn't have LEGO as their big contribution to the world, Lukas Graham would be much bigger of an embarrassment. "Mama Said" is an awful song. It poorly interpolates "Hard Knock Life", it features lead singer Lukas Graham trying to oversing over a children's choir like some kind of narcissist, and the lyrics are just nothing. He's trying to talk about being poor as a kid, but we all know he's more than happy to brag about his fame. Say what you want about "7 Years", but this song is worse. 

[DM3] Huntin', Fishin', and Lovin' Every Day - Luke Bryan

There are no country songs on the actual list, mostly because none of the big hit country singles were bad enough to be notable. This is probably the worst one, with Luke Bryan spouting generic lyrics about hunting and fishing. What is his appeal, exactly? He's one of the most one-dimensional artists to ever make it big in Nashville, his voice is average at best, and his songwriting is clumsy and half-witted. He seems like a good dude, I guess? That doesn't make his music good.

[DM4] Work From Home - Fifth Harmony (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

"Work From Home" is a song about how these girls are going to get you fired from your job by sending nudes at work, how you don't need to work because they're going to have sex with you all the time, and it's all layered over this bland, boring instrumental that somehow makes "Worth It" sound like it has balls. Like, what in the world are we even doing here? Why was this bigger than that song they did with Fetty Wap? That song was good.

[DM5] One Call Away - Charlie Puth

This song is too wimpy and pathetic to truly hate. It's just hilarious to me that the lyric "Superman's got nothin' on me" comes from a song that projects the complete opposite of strength. At least it's better than Mendes, but the lack of authenticity and true boredom this emulates is just... the worst, man. Charlie Puth is a talented songwriter, so him starting with songs like these shows a nice story of growth that I'm always happy to see. This still sucks hard, though.

[DM6] Break Up In A Small Town - Sam Hunt

I absolutely hate the speak-singing thing Sam Hunt does on the verses in this song. He does this on so many of his songs and it just boggles my mind. The chorus is at least good, which is why it didn't make the list, but the verses just give it no momentum to get started and makes this unengaging to listen to. I guess I prefer this to him having a pothole fetish the next year, but I don't know, man. I find this very unappealing to listen to.

[DM7] Team - Iggy Azalea

The Iggy Azalea experiment was such a weird time in pop culture. Here we have an Australian white girl trying her best to sound like a black dude, and she just completely whiffs on it. Her accent is so unbelievably forced and it sounds awful. This isn't her worst song, but it is very, very bad. The production sounds like a fart lathered with reverb and is just overtly obnoxious. This was really close to making the list, but I had to cut it before I made it to deciding the top ten.

[DM8] Sucker For Pain - Imagine Dragons, Lil Wayne & Wiz Khalifa (feat. Logic, Ty Dolla $ign, and X Ambassadors)

There's an idea here. Combining this many artists with a history of success should result in something crazy and fun, right? Nope. They somehow made a song that's too undercooked to be effective. It should sound more tortured and dark than it does. I don't get why we needed 6 different artists here, but I guess the idea works with the Suicide Squad movie. I just don't think this instrumental has the juice it needs to be successful with these lyrics. I respect the ambition but it just misses the mark.

[DM9] Broccoli - D.R.A.M. (feat. Lil Yachty)

This song isn't even that bad, but it's just here for the infamous Columbine lyric. If you make a song that has me comparing it to "Carnival" by Kanye West, you did something very, very wrong. Like... what possesses to compare yourself to people who murdered children? That's just screwed up, and I just don't have any respect for it. At least you redeemed yourself with "Poland", Yachty.

[DM10] Formation - Beyonce

I don't get it. I've seen a lot of people act like this is one of the greatest songs ever made, but I just don't get it. I think it sounds terrible. The weird bouncy synth at the beginning just sounds off, and it just continues to get more chaotic throughout. I get that this song was important to the black community, so I at least respect it for that. Also, did you guys know that Swae Lee helped right this? That caught me off guard when I first saw it. The more I think about that, the more it makes sense, though.

And now, for the worst hit song of 2016.

#1.

If you ask me what makes a bad song bad, I'd say that it depends. A lot of songs are bad because they have a stupid premise. Take "Body Like A Back Road" as an example. I don't think there's a universe where that song works because the premise is just very dumb. Other songs are bad because they are morally reprehensible, such as Jason Aldean's "Got What I Got" or 6ix9ine's "Gummo". For 2016, though, the worst hit song of the year does neither of those things. I don't think this idea was irredeemable, but I also don't think it does anything wrong from a moral standpoint. Instead, I have a 3rd reason a bad song is bad. If a song projects a feeling of a negative emotion, causing me to feel that emotion just by listening to, it, then it becomes a song I can't stand. There are multiple examples of this, but the song I'm about to talk about is probably the worst example of this. You see, the worst hit song of 2016 is a song that conveys nothing but despair, dread, and uncertainty. It's a song that, above all else, manages to not only put me in a bad mood, but also makes me unreasonably anxious and nervous. And for that, I'm going to call it the worst hit song of 2016.

[1] Unsteady - X Ambassadors

X Ambassadors might honestly be one of the worst bands I've ever heard. You know how everyone says Imagine Dragons is soulless and corporate? Well, X Ambassadors is that and so much more. Their biggest hit is "Renegades", a song that was quite literally made to feature in a Jeep Commercial. Ironically enough, they were discovered by Dan Reynolds, who seems to not have any taste in music considering he also helped Benson Boone get big. Out of all of the songs I've heard from them, "Unsteady" is easily the worst, without question. This is one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my entire life. It makes me just feel depressed and exhausted every single time I hear it, and, above all, it just sounds terrible. 

The production on "Unsteady" is clunky at best. It's got this awkward typewriter noise in the background at various noises that's just abysmal and adds to the awful vibe this song projects onto you. Other than that, it's a bland "alternative rock" song that has some of the worst piano and synth production I've ever heard. It doesn't help that Sam Harris sings this song like he's been hit in the balls with a sledgehammer, with some of the most obnoxious, high-pitched singing this side of "Never Be The Same" by Camila Cabello. All of it comes together to form a meaningless slob of goo that just hits my ears in all of the wrong ways. I have never heard a song sound this desperate and pitiful. But, I guess that's the point considering what this song is about.

"Unsteady" is about Harris' parents going through a divorce when he was young, and the reaction he had when that was going on. I suppose it makes sense that it sounds so desperate considering that, but I wouldn't have been able to tell you that because I was so distracted by how miserable it sounded that I couldn't make out anything at all. He just screams "MAMA. COME HERE. APPROACH. APPEAR." and it doesn't sound personal or compelling. It sounds like a hack trying to write something to fit in the despair that was 2016's popular music while also being as safe and uninspired as possible. The chorus, where he begs to be held on to, ends with "I'm a little unsteady", and I disagree with him entirely on that line. He doesn't sound "a little unsteady", he sounds like he's falling apart at the seams and wants the entire world to feel the same way. The problem is - that's exactly what he did.

I wasn't expecting much when I listened to this song for this list. I vaguely remembered it from some old "Worst Hit Songs of 2016" videos as a dishonorable mention. I was not expecting this to be a song that just ruined my mood. I listened to it, and I instantly just stopped feeling well. I got a slight headache and I just felt depressed for the next hour or so. I have never had a song instantly put me in a bad mood like this one. Even "Wine Into Whiskey", which I called my least favorite song of all time, didn't do that to me until I listened to it too many times. This song instantly irritated me. That's honestly impressive in a way.

It wasn't particularly close what song would be #1 on this list. "Unsteady" is the perfect encapsulation of everything wrong with popular music in 2016. It has very mediocre, undercooked composition. It projects nothing but despair and dread onto the listener. Most of all, though, it's pointless, soulless, and uninspired. Every single thing about it sucks, and I hope I never have to listen to it again. Congratulations, X Ambassadors. You made a song so bad that I have no qualms in calling it the worst thing to happen in pop culture in 2016. 

Thank you for reading, and I appreciate you taking the time to do so. I hope you're having a wonderful day. This is The Landoman Experiment, signing off.