In 2024, I committed to enhancing my writing, striving for a level of thoroughness and descriptiveness that I had previously lacked. This is the moment of truth. Over the past year, I compiled numerous 'best-of' and 'worst-of' lists, reflecting on the musical landscapes of 2022, 2021, and 2020. Throughout this process, I aimed to transform my approach to discussing music, and I feel I've made significant strides. I now possess greater confidence as both a music critic and a writer compared to when I created my lists in 2023. As I embark on this first real test of my progress, I present the list of my least favorite songs of 2024. Strap in!

This year was undoubtedly the most exhilarating for pop music in the 2020s. From the heated Kendrick-Drake feud to the meteoric rise of Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan, and the infectious energy of the Twisters soundtrack and Brat Summer, the highlights were endless. While I’ll soon share my favorite moments from the year, today, we must dive headfirst into the music that didn’t resonate with me.

Despite the year’s impressive highs, the lows were equally pronounced. The worst music of 2024 encompasses some truly disappointing tracks that not only fell flat sonically but also epitomized some of the year’s most perplexing trends. Ultimately, these selections represent a level of creative failure that I want to spotlight. In a year overflowing with exciting conversations about music, discussing the less favorable aspects becomes all the more intriguing. So, without further ado...

THE TOP TEN WORST HIT SONGS OF 2024

#10

Sometimes, a song doesn’t make the list simply because I dislike it; it can also be included for its wasted potential. A collaboration between two of the biggest artists in the world should embody passion and heart, transforming it into an event or an experience. This year, we witnessed numerous high-profile collaborations, many of which delivered memorable moments that resonated with listeners. For instance, the songs by Morgan Wallen and Post Malone, as well as Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars, were genuinely enjoyable and left a lasting impression. I can’t shake the feeling that no one truly enjoyed this particular song, though.

10. Fortnight - Taylor Swift (feat. Post Malone)

Taylor Swift's mind-blowing level of popularity was always going to be difficult to maintain. She's still the biggest pop star in the world by a long shot, but I don't think that spot is as secure as it was at the end of 2023. For starters, 2024 didn't have a "Cruel Summer"-level hit dominating the charts like last year did. It's a shame, too, because that was a genuinely great song that showed the dedication of Taylor's fanbase in bringing back an old hit. Instead, we had to deal with stuff from her newest album, The Tortured Poets Department, and I've got to be honest. I didn't particularly like it. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it wasn't something I will be returning to at any point. All that being said, "Fortnight" is the worst song on the album and one of Taylor's worst songs in general.

This is just nothingness. It doesn't feel like it was something Taylor genuinely wanted to make and give to the public. Instead, it presents itself like something the label requested she do in order to get a huge pop smash. It's in the same vein as Post Malone's 2022 hits "One Right Now" and "I Like You" for me. Those two were uninteresting sludges of pop filler that nobody sounded interested in making. I will say those two are better than this, however, as I can at least enjoy some aspects of them. I don't really enjoy this in any way. I can only presume she got Post Malone on this track in order to trick his fans into thinking this might be good. 

The lyrics to "Fortnight" are completely meaningless. It's like Taylor tried to recreate "Kill Bill" by SZA with the style of leftovers from Midnights. She talks about some guy that she once had a relationship with but gives very little detail apart from the fact that she wants to murder his wife. She also talks about cheating on her husband for him, and still gives us no answers as to why she would want to do that. What's the big deal about this dude? Why is loving him ruining your life? You have to give me specifics, Taylor. The lyrics that aren't about him somehow get even worse. They're pretentious and I absolutely hate it. "I was a functioning alcoholic til' nobody noticed by new aesthetic" sounds like it was generated by Chat GPT to write the lyric that would provoke the most anger out of me.

The worst part about all of this is that it worked. "Fortnight" debuted at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in May and stayed there for (ironically enough) fortnight before dropping out of the top ten completely by the end of the month. You would figure Taylor had more staying power than that, but apparently this is something even her die-hard fans won't defend. It's just a waste of potential that could have worked if there was any passion put into it whatsoever.

#9

One thing I enjoy looking at every year is who the big breakout artists are. 2024 had a surprisingly high number of stars who rose into prominence, with Sabrina Carpenter, Shaboozey, Chappell Roan, Tommy Richman, Teddy Swims, Dasha, and more all maintaining a stable chart presence throughout the year with some of the biggest hits. Of course, not every breakout artist is good, as evidenced by my #9 pick on this list. I will say, as much as "Fortnight" sucked, at least she doesn't sound like she's constipated the entire time she's singing!

9. Beautiful Things - Benson Boone

Out of all of the breakout artists of the year, Benson Boone was probably the worst. There's something about this guy that really rubs me the wrong way. I've seen a lot of people compare this to Christian music, and I get the comparison. Most of this song is a plea to God to not take away the great things he has in his life like his girlfriend and his family. However, as somebody who likes a lot of Christian music, I reject this comparison. Most Christian music doesn't sound like this, because this is a sound that is just unpleasant to listen to. 

I'll be honest. This is on the list simply because it sounds atrocious. The chorus sounds like a retread of "Believer" by Imagine Dragons (another song I don't like) and is grating to the ears. It doesn't help that Boone's gruff voice just hurts my soul. He sounds like he lost a bet and has to embarrass himself by singing as loud as he can. It reminds me of Ritt Momney, a failed experiment where he tries to mess with the song's tempo throughout while coming up with all sorts of unpleasant noises to fill the runtime. Funny enough, both artists have connections to Mormonism, considering Boone went to the Idaho campus of BYU, but that's more coincidental than anything.

I know I said "Beautiful Things" wasn't on the list due to its lyrics, but I do want to highlight them a bit because they still aren't particularly great. The whole premise of this song is that Boone is scared of losing everything, which I relate to somewhat. Stress and anxiety are normal, so I completely get writing a song about it. However, the way he sings makes it seem more like a humble brag about the good things he has rather than genuine fear that he might lose it. The entire first verse is him talking about how great things are going in his life before the rock part kicks in with the loud screaming noises again. 

I've given Boone multiple chances. I've listened to his other stuff and, honestly, I just don't think he has it. "Slow It Down" is fine, I guess, but "Cry" and "In The Stars" were not songs I became fond of. This is his worst song, but it was close. I considered "Cry" for this list, as I hate that song's attitude much more than this one's, but that wasn't really a hit and honestly sounds better than this. "Beautiful Things", though, became one of the biggest hits of the year and I really could not tell you why. Who does this appeal to? Is this what most people hear when they hear Imagine Dragons? I think I finally get it.

#8

Country music has grown on me a ton over the past few years, to the point where it's probably my favorite genre. There's been so many great country songs throughout the past few years, and the genre has overtaken rap to become the most dominant in the American music industry. Multiple country songs have reached number one in 2023 and 2024, including songs by Morgan Wallen, Shaboozey, Post Malone, and a couple others. Obviously, though, with any good comes bad, and, boy there was some bad country music this year, wasn't there?

8. High Road - Koe Wetzel (feat. Jessie Murph)

I had never heard of Koe Wetzel before this year, but his song "Sweet Dreams" broke him through to the mainstream in a big way. I actually really like that song, but his second big single was a huge disappointment. "High Road" is one of the worst vibes of any song I've heard this year. It's a very bitter piece of music that doesn't work on any level. It feels overdramatic and plays into its own seriousness in such a way that I can't tolerate listening to it at this point. Not only that, but I believe that this song completely misunderstands the meaning of the phrase "high road"

When you take the high road, that means you're going to be the bigger person. Neither Koe or Jessie show in this song that they are going to do that. Koe decides that "taking the high road" means he's going to wallow in self-pity and start drinking and taking drugs to numb the pain. Meanwhile, Jessie's version of "taking the high road" is revenge cheating that only feels manipulative and shallow. This duet is apparently supposed to be towards each other, but both protagonists in this song feel like they're trying to out-low the other person instead of doing what the title line implies.

I have to talk about what really put this song on the list, though. It was the 2nd verse. I don't really know much about Jessie Murph, but she might, quite possibly, have the most irritating voice of any singer I've heard since Tones & I back in 2020. It's too squeaky for me to feel any emotion other than torture. She seems like a nice person and all, but she is not cut out for this. It doesn't help that the entire verse is about back-and-forth cheating that shows both protagonists to be petty individuals who don't respect each other. 

"High Road" is just a spiteful, bitter anthem about two individuals in a relationship who keep trying to showcase how low they can go against each other. Whether that be revenge cheating or spiraling into drugs and alcohol, this song shows how toxic relationships can truly get, and that is not something we needed to have in our pop music. Let's just keep this one in the past.

#7

The most important musical event of the year was, undoubtedly, the Kendrick Lamar - Drake feud. This was what hip-hop needed. After a down year in 2023, this feud brought the two most influential rappers of the 2010s back into the limelight. Granted, it was only a positive limelight for one of them. Drake took such a massive L that I don't know if his career can ever recover. Kendrick thoroughly destroyed any credibility Drake had as an artist, and it may just be too much to come back from. To be quite honest, I'm perfectly fine with that.

7. You Broke My Heart - Drake

So many of the bad songs of 2024 were just completely bitter, weren't they? This might honestly be one of Drake's most embarrassing hits ever, as it shows a toxic, narcissistic side of the artist that we still do not need. "You Broke My Heart" came out in late 2023 and was Drake's last somewhat big hit before the feud completely took over. You can tell that people weren't feeling this one, though, as it only peaked at #11 before falling off completely. I'm glad people are realizing just how terrible Drake can be, as I've been saying it for a while now. We could've left this guy in the 2010s for all I care. So many of his hits in the 2020s have been complete garbage, to the point where this is the 4th year in a row that he appears on my worst list. 

"You Broke My Heart" is a song where Drake criticizes an ex, claiming that she went on Instagram to find dirt about him and that he "had [his] doubts about [her] from the start". First of all, you would not have gotten into a relationship with her if you had your doubts about her, Drake, unless you're just a manipulative piece of garbage who uses women. Secondly, what did she find on Instagram about you? What's so bad that you had to end the relationship? Obviously there's smoke to the fire, so tell me, Drake? What did she find?

That's not what etched this song a spot on the list, though. That part of the song is typical Drake nonsense that I would be perfectly fine to put up with if he didn't completely have a childish breakdown in the bridge. Drake says the phrase "f*ck my ex" 30 times. This not only shows that Drake is super petty, but it also shows that he put in zero effort on this song. He figured his fans would eat this up and just decided he was going to say the same phrase over and over again in order to get it done and over with. 

Also, why is Morgan Wallen in the music video for this? Morgan Wallen is the Drake of country music, so I guess it makes sense, but it's kind of a weird combination. If I had to compare this to a Morgan Wallen song, it'd be "Thinkin' Bout Me". A small sample of the discography that shows the artist to be a vindictive, petty person who can't get over their ex while claiming to hate them. At least that song was catchy. This just isn't. It's obnoxious and repetitive in a way that exemplifies everything that people hate about Drake. I'm glad this was the year he finally got knocked off the pedestal he was on. Let someone else have the throne. Somebody who actually deserves it.

#6

This entry will be a first for me. It's a tie. There were two hits in 2024 that were so similar to me that I didn't feel giving them separate entries on the list was necessary. They both basically do the same thing, and even have the same featured artist. Do you remember the sampling crisis of 2022? Yeah, it hasn't stopped. Heck, it's even found its way into country music. Good job, America. You done it.

6A. Lonely Road - MGK (feat. Jelly Roll)

6B. Chevrolet - Dustin Lynch (feat. Jelly Roll)

And the award for most pointless songs of the year go to these lazy hacks. Seriously, who actually enjoys listening to these? If I want to listen to "Take Me Home, Country Roads", I put on some John Denver. If I want to listen to "Drift Away", I put on some Dobie Gray. I don't need some new artists desperate for success desecrating a classic in order for me to enjoy it. Nobody does. Neither of these songs do anything with these songs other than writing newer, much worse lyrics over them. It's completely embarrassing and leaves me with no respect for any of these artists.

I suppose we can handle each song individually. "Lonely Road" is a pretty obvious interpolation of the John Denver classic I mentioned before. Instead of "country roads", MGK talks about a "lonely road". Dude, you're 34 years old. Quit acting like you're still an emo teenager. It's not "cool" or "angsty" anymore. It's pathetic. The song also adds trap beats, making it an unholy combination of new and old that comes across as sacrilegious more than anything. It puts me in a bad mood whenever I hear it, and I'm sick and tired of seeing people act like this is good. The line "I hear the Devil wears Prada, but I couldn't read the tags" is probably the only good thing to come out of this entire song, and I wish it could've been used by somebody who had more respect for music not to desecrate a classic.

Meanwhile, "Chevrolet" is probably the lesser of the two evils, but this list still feels incorrect without it. It's a more country-style song that samples the lyrical melody of "Drift Away" by Dobie Gray. However, that song has already been claimed. Uncle Kracker's version of it in 2003 already gave us an unneeded second version. Turning "Drift Away" into a generic list song about country stereotypes just feels disrespectful to the original song. I could see a song with the title "Chevrolet" working if they do something original with it. This just doesn't do anything of the sort. 

Overall, both of these songs show just how pathetic sampling can be. They're not the worst examples of it I've ever heard, but they are undeniably terrible. They don't justify their own existence through anything original and completely make a mockery of the songs they interpolate. I wish people in the music industry didn't feel like they had to do it. Sampling has just been so terrible the past few years, and the fact that country music is getting in on it feels wrong. This isn't a Cole Swindell situation where the artist clearly has a lot of respect for the original, it's a David Guetta situation where the artist is doing it to make a quick buck. Pathetic.

#5

2024 was a crazy year overall. So many crazy things happened in the world of music that it was a spectacle and a half to go through. I have to vote that the craziest week of the year was the week of February 10th, though. Megan Thee Stallion debuted at #1 with "HISS", a diss track directed at Drake that Nicki Minaj thought was meant for her. Nicki's own diss track towards Megan, "Big Foot" debuted at #23. We also had songs by Justin Timberlake ("Selfish") and Morgan Wallen ("Spin You Around (1/24)"), and Ice Spice ("Think U The Sh*t (Fart)")  debut in the top 40 of the charts. Those 4 things all happening at once would be crazy enough, but that wasn't it. At #16 in the charts, we had... this.

5. Facts - Tom MacDonald (feat. Ben Shapiro)

Putting this song at #5 on the list may be a confusing decision for a lot of people. It's obviously complete garbage that doesn't deserve my time or attention. The fact that Ben Shapiro has a charting rap single might be the stupidest music fact I've ever heard in my life. This is obviously the worst song of the year, right? To that I say - no. We all know that Tom MacDonald is terrible. In fact, I have a slightly controversial take to say here. This is his best song. I've listened to him a bit out of morbid curiosity, and it's all just been phony nonsense. Adding Ben Shapiro into it at least gives it a comedic factor that at least gives this something.

That being said, the fact is that this is still a Tom MacDonald song, and he has the rap skills of a dead pigeon. MacDonald can't write lyrics to save his life, and his rap skills are terrible in the most show-offy kind of way. Everything about him just gives me that pretentious, "I just made the greatest thing ever" vibe that annoys me about a lot of other artists. He raps every lyric like he's trying to make the most important point of his life, and it's just so obnoxiously stupid that I can't believe that anyone on Earth takes him seriously.

This song is just so clumsily written. For example, the pre-chorus of this song claims that "we ain't pushing guns", but the first verse of the song denounces leftists, saying "you ain't pro-gun". Hypocrisy much? Tom also claims that "this ain't rap". What is it then? Folk music? Jazz music? Don't be an ignorant tool. Tom also complains about American flags not being raised, despite the fact that American flags are raised very commonly throughout the country. The song's called "Facts", but MacDonald doesn't seem to care about any of the facts. I'm not even a leftist and this makes me angry. This dude isn't representative of what Republicans believe. He's a culture war grifter who only wants to push people away and make fun of everything the other side believes. I cannot respect that whatsoever.

Tom MacDonald gets out-performed on his own song by a guy that once claimed that "rap music isn't real music". I'm dead serious. The Ben Shapiro verse is the best part of this song. I've seen so many AI parodies of Ben Shapiro rapping that seeing the dude actually rap is so hilarious to me. Is it worth him having a higher chart peak than AC/DC? Probably not, but still. I only have to say one thing to MacDonald on this, though. Find a new hobby. Spend time with your family. Doing stupid grifter garbage like this just makes you into an unlikable mockery of what you believe in. It's pathetic and you should know much better than this. 

#4

I know it's a controversial take to say that any song is worse than "Facts" by Tom MacDonald, but that song qualifies this list by the most miniscule of margins and is both barely a hit and barely a song. It was just a grift by Tom and Ben designed to generate reaction from outraged leftists and terminally online righties. The only reason it's on the list at all is because I'm tired of these political anthems being dragged to the charts by heavy iTunes buying when no one actually cares about them. In stark contrast to this, you could have a song by one of the world's biggest pop stars that masquerades as a "screw the haters" anthem while actually defending some of the most disgusting behavior I've seen in pop music since Jason Aldean's "Got What I Got". Surely none of our pop stars would be dumb enough to do that, though, right? Right???

4. Yes, And? - Ariana Grande

Let me get this out of the way first - this song sounds great. It's got a catchy flair to it that is reminiscent of "Vogue" by Madonna but with a more modern spin on it. Are we clear on that? Good, because that's literally the only compliment I can give this song. This is easily the most well-produced song on the worst list, with my only issue being that the reverb can be a little much at times for me. Now that I'm done giving a song I utterly despise as much praise as I can muster, let me tell you why this song is on the list. This is a song where Ariana Grande uses a marginalized community as a shield to defend herself against the backlash she received after breaking up the marriage of her Wicked costar Ethan Slater so she could start dating him. 

When I made my long rant about 'Got What I Got' earlier this year, I knew in my mind that I would eventually have to take the same approach with this song. However, as you might notice, this song is not as high as that song was on its list. The reason for that is pretty simple. Aldean's song's subtext was amplified throughout the entire song, with the chorus being about how he didn't miss what he had. That was the song's focus. This song doesn't have that focus throughout the entire song, mostly just in the chorus. Instead, this song's chorus is about shrugging off haters and telling them you don't care while being as loud and proud as possible.

Once you look into the bridge's subtext, though, it becomes clear why I was personally offended by this one. It has a very arrogant attitude towards criticism, with Ari acting like she's immune from it because her "tongue is sacred" and "what's [hers] is [hers]". It all comes to a head at the final line of the bridge, "Why do you care so much who's d*ck I ride?", which I can only assume is directly addressing reporters who dared to criticize Ariana about destroying a man's family just for that aforementioned "riding". The dude had a kid with his wife of 6 years but threw it all away. Honestly I should be more mad at him than anything, but Ariana was okay with all of this too. Anyone who's willing to go after someone who's married deserves all the criticism they get. 

"Yes, and?" had the potential to be a truly special song for people. Instead, we’re left with a disjointed mess that sacrifices any chance of being good to address personal drama, revealing Ariana's unwillingness to acknowledge any wrong she’s committed in this situation. In most cases, I prefer a song that was a total trainwreck from the start over one that could have been something great but was ruined at the last moment. This is not an exception to this rule. Pathetic.

#3

That being said, there are times when a song not having a chance to begin with is still worse than a song with wasted potential. My picks for the top three worst songs of the year were all pathetic failures that didn't show me a single redeeming quality. I went back and forth between all of them throughout the process of writing this list, but I finally feel satisfied with the songs I chose for each spot. For my #3 pick, I present to you my pick for the worst breakout artist of the year... Jessie Murph.

3. Wild Ones - Jessie Murph (feat. Jelly Roll)

With "High Road," I could at least understand what Koe and Jessie were trying to do. The production wasn’t completely terrible, and there were some decent moments. Here, though, I have absolutely no clue. Seriously, what is the appeal of this song? What situation would someone have to be into listen to it? Murph somehow sounds worse here than she did on "High Road," with her squeaky, faux-country voice clashing with the instrumental like nails on a chalkboard. I have a somewhat unusual comparison, but I think it’s fitting: Jessie Murph is the Iggy Azalea of country music. Honestly, it might just be the accent—it doesn’t sit right, much like Iggy’s never did.

"Wild Ones" is a song about how Jessie is only attracted to people who like to live dangerously. Specifically, those dangerous habits are smoking so much you might give yourself cancer, driving recklessly on a highway at a speed that it is literally never legal to go, and having a gun on your person in the process. Let's focus on those first two. I will never understand how anyone could find smoking attractive or fun to do. Cigarettes are literally cancer sticks that do nothing but harmful things to your body. They're not "cool" or "wild", they're stupid and self-destructive. The same thing applies for the high speeds this "wild one" is going down the highway. It's only going to hurt you. You're either gonna get pulled over or, even worse, crash into somebody and cause a death. These are your standards, Jessie? Really?

Meanwhile, Jelly Roll is here for some reason. Oh, let's be real, he's only here to help push this song into the "hit" status. Honestly, I like Jelly Roll, but his presence in this song makes it feel more awkward then it already did. From saying he's attracted to "things" and calling his wife "heartless", it's just a very strange rap verse that just completely mystifies me with how bad it is. Honestly, it was almost worse. The song originally made me think of Murph and Jelly Roll as a couple (which, considering the age gap, would be very problematic), but I eventually learned that Jelly Roll references his actual wife in the verse, so it takes some of that effect away. It's still a very icky verse that adds nothing for me, though.

That sentiment wouldn't put this on the list alone. This song sounds terrible. The guitar instrumentation has a creepy vibe that doesn't complement the "wild" vibe Jessie is going for in this. The trap elements it adds only make it sound more like a throbbing headache to sit through. I legitimately cannot think of a single situation where a song with this combination of sound and lyrics would fit. Every single element of this song is an utter trainwreck that baffles me with how dark and lifeless it is. A song like this would usually take the #1 spot on one of these lists, but that's how low this year got. It's only #3.

#2

If you know me, you saw this coming. I’ve discussed this song with multiple people, and it’s almost always been about how it’s an irredeemable trainwreck. It features some of the worst qualities I’ve ever heard in a song, let alone a #1 hit. It’s my pick for the worst #1 hit of the year and possibly one of the worst songs to ever top the charts. It might even surprise most people that it’s only #2 on this list, given my strong feelings about it. That said, it’s time for me to tackle what will undoubtedly be the most polarizing entry here, starting with one simple phrase: let’s talk about Kanye.

2. Carnival - Kanye West & Ty Dolla $ign (feat. Rich the Kid & Playboi Carti)

Ever since Kanye West's antisemitic comments on the Alex Jones podcast a while back, I've tried to avoid talking about him. It seems like a ton of other people have too, as more popular music critics Anthony Fantano and Spectrum Pulse refused to talk about Vultures altogether, and others have limited themselves to just discussing this song. I think that's what I'll do here, as I found the rest of Vultures to be tedious slop that isn't really worth anything. Considering that "Carnival" is the only song anyone will remember, it makes sense that it's the song that shows up on this list when you also factor in that it was the only real hit. It's on the Billboard Year-End Hot 100. It hit #1 on the Hot 100. This is a song people genuinely seemed to love and enjoy, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why. 

We can start with this song's sound. Just like the last song, it has a creepy flair to it that just isn't enjoyable to listen to. This one features the fans of Inter Milan chanting throughout the entire thing, making it sound like a cult meeting in a mid-tier horror movie. The overly loud bass doesn't help matters, making this a splitting headache of a production job. "Carnival" also samples a much better Kanye song, "Hell of a Life" in the bridge, which is probably the best part because it reminds me I could be listening to literally anything else. It's just an awful-sounding garbage pile of sludge that taints a much better song and provides us with nothing of value.

I guess I can tear down each rapper's verse one by one. The first verse is performed by Rich the Kid, and he honestly doesn't feel too overmatched compared to everyone else. That being said, his verse isn't great. He talks about how he's too rich to drive a land rover, how he has sex in a Rolls Royce, and has reached all of his goals. Those are all pretty normal rap lyrics, nothing too much to condemn him for yet. The low point of Rich's verse comes when he says he and the other rappers on this song "pulled up in the trenches like Columbine". Why is Rich comparing himself to evil pieces of garbage who murdered innocent children? Considering how already creepy this song sounds, lyrics like this just make it worse. 

The 2nd verse belongs to Ty Dolla $ign, Kanye's main collaborator throughout the entire Vultures album. Out of all of the verses on this song, Ty's is the best. None of the lyrics are completely embarrassing outside of "these hoes wanna f*ck my car", and his voice fits the beat the best out of anyone's. That being said, why do girls want to have sexual relations with this guy's car? Are all the girls he's finding just mentally unstable or is this some metaphor that I'm too out-of-the-loop to understand? Honestly, this lyric is more strange than anything.

I'm gonna skip Kanye's part for now and address the Playboi Carti verse. I can barely understand what he's saying. The song is mixed so loudly over Carti's lower register that it makes it difficult for me to even make out what he's saying. I kind of wish I hadn't looked though, as there are some bad lyrics in this one. From "the hoe's not ready, I'm going barnacles" to "she tatted my name on her titties" to "I'm bout to buy her some dentures and make her eat me for dinner", Carti gives us no shortage of strange lyrics that just baffle me. Apparently the barnacles line is some sort of Atlanta slang I've never heard of, but I originally thought it was a SpongeBob reference. The verse isn't the worst part of the song, but they should've spent more time mixing it and trying to make it sound better.

When it comes to Kanye West, though, this dude has been analyzed to death since he said he "loves Hitler" back in 2022. I didn't put this song on this list because of that. That doesn't help at all, but it's not the reason this song made the list. If I'm being real with you, the verse Kanye dropped on "Carnival" is one of the worst-written verses I've ever heard in my entire life. Kanye compares himself to some of the worst people in the entertainment industry in P Diddy, R Kelly, and Bill Cosby, while also shouting out Chris Brown. He also mentions the Taylor Swift incident and shouts out Elon Musk, who has tanked his stock of coolness to the bottom of the ocean. The line ends with Kanye saying "got my kids at a fake school, we ain't-" before cutting himself off. However, a leaked version of this song confirms that this line was supposed to end with "we ain't Jewish, b*tch". If this is a legitimate leak, then I have no qualms in saying that this is one of the worst rap verses of all time, and Kanye West deserves every bit of scorn that he gets for this song. 

"Carnival" is one of the worst #1 hits of all time. It's one of the worst hit rap songs of all time. And, yet, it somehow avoids the top of this list. Either way, I hope everybody realizes that this song doesn't even deserve the attention. I may have analyzed it, but I won't talk about it any further. I have no problem with saying that we can throw Kanye West into the bin of artist who should be blacklisted from the music industry alongside the aforementioned Chris Brown. I think we just have to admit that he'll never reach the highs of his old music ever again. Even if Kanye wasn't such a terrible person, though, this would still be here. The song's sound alone was enough for me to hate it, all the other stuff just kept compounding it and making it worse. This song has almost no redeeming qualities, and I have no issue with calling it easily one of the worst hit songs of 2024.

And now, before I discuss what song somehow managed to beat out "Carnival" for the worst hit of 2024, some dishonorable mentions.

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

DM1. Houdini - Eminem

I don't know, this just feels like a mockery of all of Em's older hits. The production style sounds jaded and you can tell Marshall just doesn't enjoy doing the Slim Shady bit as much as he did when he was younger. He's still got the skill and that's the main reason this didn't make the list in general, but overall I found "Houdini" to be the worst song on the album and a terrible choice as a lead single.

DM2. Cowgirls - Morgan Wallen (feat. ERNEST)

Seriously, Morgan? This is the song you push for the radio? Why not "Hope That's True", "Me + All Your Reasons" or "I Deserve A Drink"? You had so many better options, man! This song is just cringeworthy. The trap percussion doesn't work on this whatsoever and the lyrics are so clumsy and stupid. It's pretty clear that Morgan's single choices are among his worst songs. Seriously, this over "Me + All Your Reasons" makes me lose hope in humanity.

DM3. I Don't Wanna Wait - David Guetta (feat. OneRepublic)

No. We are not doing this, David. You already ruined "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" and "What Is Love", we're not letting you get away with another one. This is a sample of O-Zone's mega-hit "Dragostea Din Tei", which was made famous as the "Numa Numa" song. What's worse is that this sample was already definitively claimed by Rihanna and T.I. in "Live Your Life", so even the idea to sample this at all is unoriginal! Find a new schtick, Guetta. It's pretty clear nobody cares anymore.

DM4. J. Christ - Lil Nas X

Man, remember when Lil Nas X was good? I still stand by my statement that "Panini" is one of the best songs of the 2010s, but he seems to have just lost all momentum. His big release in 2024, "J. Christ", played too deep into the "offending Christians" route and forgot how to be good music. Just obnoxious and over-the-top in a very incoherent way. This would've been on the actual list if it had been a hit, but it bombed so hard that it didn't even reach the top 50 of the Billboard Hot 100. 

DM5. I Like The Way You Kiss Me - Artemas

Ugh. This song just gives me a really gross vibe that I just can't shake. The production sounds fine enough but the lyrics about "making [him] proud" really turned me away from this throughout the year. I wouldn't be opposed to seeing another Artemas song get big, but this being the first breakthrough single did not leave a good first impression.

DM6. Hot To Go! - Chappell Roan

I feel like I hear this one everywhere now. This is the song on the list that I would be most embarrassed if someone caught me listening to. It works for what it is, but what it is is an overly cheery anthem that uses euphemisms for sex in a way that really strikes me as corny. It reminds me of "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne in its over-the-top cheeriness. It's offensively terrible, but it really got annoying throughout the year. I get why people like it but it's just not my thing. 

DM7. Band4Band - Central Cee (feat. Lil Baby)

Putting Central Cee and Lil Baby in the same song is like taking a perfectly fine cup of water (Lil Baby) and inserting a teaspoon of vomit (Central Cee). These two have very distinct voices that don't work together at all. Honestly, I've never been a fan of Central Cee's overly obnoxious accent, so this was never going to be something I enjoyed.

DM8. The Heart Part 6 - Drake

This didn't make the list because it was never officially released as a single and didn't chart, but it's just a pathetic attempt at discrediting Kendrick Lamar that completely blows up in Drake's face. Also, Drake saying that he's "too famous" to be a pedophile has to go down as the worst musical moment of the year, right? Like, what was he trying to cook here? 

DM9. Alabi - Rudimental (feat. Ella Henderson)

I am offended on behalf of Coolio. Something tells me he would've absolutely hated the desecration this song performed to "Gangsta's Paradise". This would've been very high on the list had it been eligible. It's a shameless sample that disrespects everybody involved in creating the original song. I was wrong in the last second, clearly turning the Gangsta's Paradise instrumental into a dubstep drop was the worst musical moment of the year. It's not particularly close.

DM10. Wine Into Whiskey - Tucker Wetmore

If this song was eligible for the list, it'd take the top spot with no hesitation from me whatsoever. "Wine Into Whiskey" is a dour, sour, trap-country song about how much of a screw-up Tucker Wetmore is and I absolutely despite it. It sounds like what would happen if Morgan Wallen tried to make a Lewis Capaldi song, but about 100x worse. It was detrimental to my mental health this year, with me first hearing it when I was in a really bad place. It made me feel like a screw-up myself, and although I've since recovered mentally, I would rather not go back to that place. 

And now, without further ado, my least favorite hit song of 2024.

#1

I considered for a long time what would take the top spot in this countdown. In my first draft, it was "Wild Ones", a song that legitimately leaves me questioning what type of person you'd have to be to listen to it. Then, it was "Carnival", one of the most depraved-sounding, worst-written hit songs in recent memory. Neither of those songs had the potential to be good, though. Jessie Murph was never going to get past her voice, and Kanye West has gone so far down the rabbit hole that we have to wonder if he's ever going to recover. Those songs were not made by artists who I've considered to be genuinely great over the start of the 2020s. My #1 pick, however, was made by someone who's been on every single best list I've made for the 2020s so far. Someone who's written some of my favorite songs of all time. How did he end up on top of this list exactly? Well, in 2024, Morgan Wallen released what may be the single most embarrassing song I've ever heard in my entire life. This is a guy who's been criticized for throwing out slurs, getting drunk in public, and making stupid decisions since he's been famous. I've defended him on every occasion that I can. Honestly, though, this song would've been here either way. It's just so blatantly terrible and bafflingly stupid that I couldn't justify putting it anywhere else. All I can say at this point is that, Morgan, i'm tired of it.

1. WHISKEY WHISKEY - Moneybagg Yo (feat. Morgan Wallen)

The "Morgan Wallen rap collaboration" genre of music is a very baffling thing for many people, but I've actually been pretty okay with it for the most part. "Broadway Girls" and "Stand By Me" are still both guilty pleasures for me to this day. It can work. It easily does not here. "Whiskey Whiskey" is easily the worst of these three songs by a lot. For starters, the chorus of this song samples the classic nursery rhyme "Rain, Rain, Go Away" and turns it into a plea about getting rid of whiskey at a time when you're struggling to get over a breakup. Genuinely, I have to ask, what were they thinking here? This is not only a bad interpolation, it's an embarrassing interpolation that shows both artists to have a very low maturity level.

This song also just sounds bad. It sounds like a clump of goo that you play with as a kid smothered in red paint. It's genuinely grating to listen to. The production on this is completely miserable. This is coming from Turbo, someone I genuinely think has talent as a producer (go listen to "Drip Too Hard", that song is so much better than you remember) but does nothing with it here. It tries to mix country and trap in a way that highlights the best characteristics of neither. Country rap can work, we've seen this with songs like "Old Town Road" and "I Wrote The Book". The bass is too mushy and the trap percussion just does not mesh well with any of the song's other elements. 

Why is this song on the top of this list, though? Well, if you listen to the lyrics, it's pretty clear why. This song is arguably the most childish hit of the year. Sampling a nursery rhyme? Really? You guys are both over 30 years old. You're better than this. I know you're both better than this. Moneybagg Yo's verse tries to implement country slang but it just feels off with his deep, rap-centric voice. It's not a good fit at all. His verse is probably the best part of the song because... oh my God. I have to ask - who in their right mind told Morgan Wallen to rap? That may be the single dumbest musical moment of the year because it does not work whatsoever. Plus, this song is just redundant. Morgan releases like 20+ songs about whiskey on every album he makes, and it's become stale at this point. This song uses the same phrases he uses in songs like "You Proof" and "Whiskey Friends", two much better songs than this, and it feels like he's phoning it in.

What makes this worse than two songs I genuinely have zero respect for in "Carnival" and "Wild Ones", though? It's the wasted potential. Morgan Wallen is one of my favorite artists. I genuinely thought One Thing At A Time was a great album, even when it seemed like other critics were looking to tear him to shreds. I still listen to songs from that album all the time because they've genuinely been songs I love. "Whiskey Whiskey" is not that. It's an embarrassing failure from two artists who should know better. Neither the #2 or #3 song on this list could've been something. They were both doomed to be colossal flops from the get-go. This had a chance to be something to me. Instead, it's my pick for the worst hit song of 2024. 

This is Lando from the Landoman Experiment, and I appreciate you reading up to this point. I hope you have a wonderful day.