Now that my annual foray into the depths of the NFL Draft is over, I can now focus on my music writing again. Boy, do we have a lot to unpack with this one? 2017 was definitely a year, that's what I'll say. The 1st year of the Trump presidency featured a lot of interesting trends in popular music that ultimately seemed to change the tides of how music sounded and was shaped. Trap music increased in popularity while country music seemed to be very confused on what it even was, and normal pop music was bending to the whims of other genres throughout the year. Overall, 2017 was a fine year for music. There were high highs and low lows, and a lot of in between.
Unlike my previous lists, I'm going to be a lot more lenient with what is considered a "hit". I don't have a specific chart qualification, but if a song has been in the public eye for a substantial impact, I will consider it a "hit". Songs that make the Billboard Year-End Hot 100 and Top 50 qualify automatically, and there are other songs I allow as well based on streaming numbers and public recognition.
Now, without further adieu, The Landoman Experiment presents...
#10.
As I mentioned in the beginning, trap music was the dominant subgenre of 2017. We saw a rise in new artists such as the Migos and Lil Uzi Vert in 2017, with big hits such as "Bad and Boujee" and "XO Tour Llif3" being chart-dominant throughout the year. Of course, with how utterly gigantic the genre was, there were bound to be some terrible examples. Unfortunately, one of these terrible examples just happened to be a #1 hit, but that's the American public for you.
10. Bodak Yellow (Money Moves) - Cardi B
I'll be completely honest, I've never really liked Cardi B. Sure, she has a couple good songs, but every artist does (unless you're Tom MacDonald, of course). "Bodak Yellow" is just a boring slog of a song that takes every negative stereotype I've heard about Cardi and rolled it into one excruciating listen. Do I think Cardi's untalented? No. Do I think this specific song sucks? Absolutely.
To start, "Bodak Yellow" has one of the least interesting instrumentals I've ever heard in my entire life. It's generic trap production that doesn't have any kick or interesting rhythmic tricks to give it any power. It's slow, it's boring, and it's repetitively obnoxious. However, a song like this can work if you can add interesting or funny lyrics. Cardi B does neither of these. Most of the verses are bragging about money, sex, and how hard she works. They're not necessarily bad, per se, but they're just overly generic. No, what really puts this song on this list is the way it's performed. Throughout the entire song, Cardi has this inflection that I find to be really obnoxious. During the chorus, her pronunciation is slightly off with the instrumental and it drives me up a wall. It's genuinely infuriating.
It doesn't help that this song is named after Kodak Black, a terrible person who shouldn't be on the streets at all much less being a popular rapper. It just annoys me to be honest. "Bodak Yellow" was the breakthrough song for Cardi B, and is one of her worst singles to date. Let's just be glad she found her footing when "Finesse" and "I Like It" came out. At least those are jams.
#9.
Do I really have to talk about this one? Like, really? Everyone knows this song sucks. It's commonly agreed to be one of the worst songs of 2017, written poorly by an artist who cannot sing. I mean, I'm going to discuss it, but I really just don't want to. Let's just say that this next song has... issues.
9. Issues - Julia Michaels
Yeah, no. I'm not doing this. This is just a pathetic little excuse of a song that doesn't manage to dive deeper into any of its alleged "issues" than brief mentions without concrete descriptions. For a song that Billboard described as having "razor-sharp songwriting", the songwriting just feels bland and uninteresting. It doesn't help that Julia Michaels just doesn't have that good of a voice. This song is a bit out of her range, and you can tell that she's going for the emotional impact with this, but it isn't working.
The whole premise of "Issues" is that Julia and her partner both have issues, but they accept that and still love each other. That's not a terrible idea for a song, but it is executed horribly. Most of the second half of this song has a really awkward-sounding bass that doesn't fit with the rest of the instrumental whatsoever. There are also rough moments in the lyrics, like where she rhymes "down" twice in a row, and the first bridge where she says the same phrase twice (even though she changes it up for the 2nd one, JUST DO IT THE FIRST TIME MY GOSH). It's just not a well-produced song that is sung horribly.
Julia Michaels isn't an untalented songwriter. She's written all sorts of songs for other artists that I like. When you give her her own song, though.... it doesn't work very well. I hate to say this, as she seems like a genuinely good person, but "Issues" is an awful song. The lyrics are clunky, the instrumental is unbalanced, and her voice is out of range for it. I'll pass.
#8.
2017 was an interesting year in music, and one of the biggest stories of the year was the falloff of one of pop music's biggest names. That would be one Katy Perry. After her collaboration with Skip Marley, "Chained To The Rhythm", completely lambasted the type of music she had made for years, many people expected her to continue with her "purposeful pop" era of music. She did not. In fact, the next single was a complete reversal of everything the previous song stood for. Not only that, but it sucked.
8. Bon Appetit - Katy Perry (feat. Migos)
This is just disgusting, man. I hate songs where the main theme is metaphors about sex that use food. It's gross to me, and the fact that it's such a trend in popular music just skeeves me out. Think "Yummy" by Justin Bieber if you want another example of this. "Bon Appetit" isn't the worst example of this I can think of, but it is pretty terrible. For one, the music video of this song is one of the worst I've ever seen, considering that it features Katy literally being cooked alive. That wouldn't be enough in its own right to get it on the list, but the lyrics are also just as disturbing. With references such as "got me spread like a buffet", "fresh out the oven" and "I'm on the menu", I just feel uncomfortable.
Another question... why are the Migos here? I do get why, but it's just a strange collaboration. Katy needed a hit and the biggest rappers of the year were a surefire way to get this song success... in theory. In reality, this song flopped, and was a major reason as to why Katy's album that year, Witness, commercially underperformed and essentially ended her hit-making days. You can clearly see why. A dance-pop song about sexual food metaphors? No, thanks. I'd rather listen to Ed Sheeran.
The Katy Perry era of dominance effectively ended with this song. I'm not going to blame "This Is How We Do" or "Chained To The Rhythm". I blame this. This is the worst song of her entire career, and I'm not going to dignify it. It's only #8 on this list because it was barely a hit so I can't get mad at the American public too much, but this still sucks.
#7.
I really wish I hadn't done the "everyone knows this song sucks" intro for "Issues", because this song also deserves it. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to try to be clever with this one. What do you call a washed-up has-been who hasn't made a good song since the early 2010s and probably never will again? Someone who was once an annoying presence on the charts but has now been relegated to... I don't even know what? That's right. Adam Levine! Great job, guys!
7. What Lovers Do - Maroon 5 (feat. SZA)
Between this and Drake's "Slime You Out", SZA really has not had luck in her collaborations prior to deciding to just basically full-time team-up with Kendrick Lamar (stay tuned for him on the best list). But, yeah, this sucks. Adam Levine's voice is as punchable as it's ever been, and it's incredibly annoying with these ear-wormy lyrics and vocal runs that might work if they weren't sung in Levine's obnoxious tenor. Unfortunately, his voice sounds atrocious on this track, and it turns an already mediocre set of lyrics into annoying garbage.
"What Lovers Do" doesn't seem to actually have a topic. The chorus is just the line "Ooh, been wishing for you, tryna do what lovers do" repeated numerous times, and it becomes meaningless slop throughout. The entire song just has fluffy filler lyrics that don't actually describe a situation or a relationship in any meaningful way, and I'm kind of insulted by it. It's pathetic and lame. "Say say say hey hey now baby" is a lyric you sing if you run out of ideas, and it's clear Levine has run out of ideas.
I feel bad for SZA here. She didn't deserve to be stuck with this on her legacy. Lucky for her sake she's made so many better songs that actually have depth and emotional intelligence. This... this is a disaster that I blame solely on the creative bankruptcy of Adam Levine and his massive ego. He sounds like a robot. Maybe instead of trying to do what lovers do, you should do what talented artists do. I'll give you a hint - it isn't this.
#6.
I'm going to be as blunt as possible with this next entry - I had never heard this song before making this list. It only barely reached the Billboard Year-End Hot 100, and it doesn't seem to be very well-remembered at all. I didn't even know who this artist was, so the fact that they got a hit is very... interesting to say the least. The problem is... what the song was.
6. Down - Marian Hill
I think I'm being kind by only putting "Down" at #6. This might just be the least song on this list. I know that doesn't make any sense, so let me explain. What I mean is that this song is... nothing. There's nothing here. Just one boring piano loop played over and over behind bland, boring lyrics that don't have any meaning behind them whatsoever. The song is basically just the lead singer (yes, Marian Hill is not a single person, but rather a duo) asking her boyfriend if he's down to go party, but she stretches it out so much that it just becomes boring.
It doesn't help that the drop on this is one of the worst I've ever heard. It's a pathetic excuse for vocal stitching that doesn't work at all. It just adds a slight bit more percussion but just continues the same piano loop over and over. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT GOOD OF THE LOOP. I COULD PLAY THIS GARBAGE IN MY SLEEP. MY GOSH. Is this what it takes to get a hit? How on EARTH did this become popular?
The answer - Apple. Because of course. Only they would include a song this obviously bad in one of their commercials. Somehow, it worked. They used this song in their commercial, and it shot up the charts and became one of the 100 biggest hits of 2017. That doesn't even make any sense to me. I feel bad attacking Marian Hill like this, because they seem like genuinely good people, but this song is just atrocious and is not a good representation of the talent they have. Most of their music is pretty slow, but most of it has.. more than this. Just an unfortunate waste of space, this song is.
#5.
Let me preface this by saying that I know I'm going to be attacked for this. Nobody is going to agree with this. People are going to get angry. Are you prepared to hear what I'm about to say? What controversial take am I about to spit? Well, here it is.
"Reputation" by Taylor Swift is one of the biggest disasters I've ever had the privilege of witnessing.
5A. Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift
5B. ...Ready For It? - Taylor Swift
I don't hate Taylor Swift. She has plenty of good songs. I put "Cruel Summer" on my 2023 best list, and "Blank Space" and "Style" will probably both make my 2015 best list if I ever get around to making that. That being said, yeah I'm a bit sick of her. She's so overexposed that it's not even funny. I mean, she is the biggest pop star of the century, but I just don't enjoy hearing about her all the time. It has seemed to calm down a bit in 2025 (this'll age well, I'm sure), so maybe we're on the way out of the Swift era and into... I don't know, the Shaboozey era? I hope so. I'm getting off topic. Why do these songs suck? Well, I'll explain them both.
"Look What You Made Me Do" is Taylor Swift's attempt at a diss track. It's not quite entirely clear who it's about (my guess is either Katy Perry or Kanye West), and that just makes it worse. Let's be clear - this is entirely from the sound. The song rips off Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" in the chorus, which is just... the dumbest thing ever. It's so unbelievably dumb. It also has these weird siren sounds in the bridge that are just off-putting. It's activating my fight-or-flight response as I'm listening to it. Just... so unpleasant. The entire song is just melodrama and underthought disaster lyrics that come across as obnoxious, pretentious, and just... the worst of Swift's career.
At least that's what I thought before I listened to "Ready For It", which might somehow be worse. The idea of Taylor Swift on a rap beat just does not work at all. Her rapping skills are... what I would expect Taylor Swift rapping to sound like. Who gave her this idea? The chorus isn't the worst thing ever, but the verses are SO bad. SO bad. "But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom", "And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor", "Younger than my exes but he act like such a man tho". Doesn't help that they're all rapped with this annoying forced diction that just is obnoxious.
Overall, these two songs, which were the two biggest singles from that album by the way, are representative of the worst of Taylor's music. The one where she's worried about her reputation and trying to fit with the rap-heavy times. She's an influential artist for a reason, so let's be glad she matured past it. I was sure ready for it.
#4.
One thing I see with a lot of people is how music can help change their lives. I love it when songs help people. For me, the song that saved my life was "How He Loves" by David Crowder*Band, a worship song that is one of the only ones to ever make me cry. Artists have the potential to truly change lives. This song, I'm sure, helped a lot of people, and I feel bad dragging it down. However, this song represents to me, a failure. A song by a man who didn't actually know or care about the issue he was discussing, and how he sold out by pretending to care about millions of people who truly needed help.
4. 1-800-273-8255 - Logic (feat. Alessia Cara & Khalid)
If this song helped you in your mental health crisis, I'm happy for you. I'm glad this song helped change your life. That being said, I'd recommend skipping this section if you don't want to see me discuss why I hate it. All good? Let's begin.
"1-800-273-8255" is one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my entire life. The song is trying to present itself as a song to help prevent others from committing suicide, with its title being the number for the National Suicide Prevention hotline. It's a great idea in concept, but it's so terrible in execution. As much as I know it helped people, I also know it was not pleasant for many people to hear Logic wailing "I just wanna die" and "I don't want to be alive" all over the radio. If I heard this song in the midst of my mental breakdowns, it'd just make things worse.
None of the artists seem to understand how any of this works. Logic is just wailing about he doesn't feel like life matters or that he's important. Alessia Cara fundamentally misunderstands by saying something about being chest-to-chest with a lover, when she should know loneliness is the cause of so many people's depression. Khalid seems to gaslight himself into not wanting to die anymore, which just doesn't work (trust me I've tried). As someone with depressive spouts and mental breakdowns that happen regularly, this makes me unfathomably angry. And then there's the infamous "Who can relate, woo?", which... .really dude? HOW OUT OF TOUCH CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE?
The only reason this song isn't #1 on this list is the fact that I know it did genuinely help people. If it did, I'm happy for them. It did not help me. It genuinely made me angry. It doesn't help that I actually have proof that Logic doesn't mean any of this. On the song "Twisted" with French Montana, Logic spouts out one of the worst lyrics I've ever heard in my entire life. "1-800, then I kill the p*ssy, who can relate?" Go screw yourself, Logic. Seriously.
#3.
I save the rating of -1/5 for songs that I genuinely find offensive on a moral level. Songs like "Carnival" by Kanye West, "Deli" by Ice Spice, almost every 6ix9ine song, and "Got What I Got" by Jason Aldean are some examples of this. This song is an exception. There's nothing morally wrong with this. The lyrics have no questionable or disgusting content in them. It's just... so aesthetically bad that I can't help but give it that rating.
3. Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato
Hey, do y'all even remember Demi Lovato? I remember that she used to be one of the biggest artists in the country. I liked "Cool For The Summer", but 2017's follow-up "Sorry Not Sorry" is one of the worst-sounding big hits I've ever heard in my entire life. But, let's be real. This wouldn't be nearly that high if it wasn't for that stupid, stupid phrase. I would rather eat a glass jar of nails than hear the phrase "sorry, not sorry" again in my entire life. It rubs me the wrong way because, frankly, it just sounds obnoxious. The type of person you'd have to be to say it is not someone who I'd like to be around.
It also doesn't help that the chorus is one of the worst things I've ever heard in my entire life. Demi is basically screaming while this dark, annoying bass plays. The combination of lyrics and sound is just... so bad. I do not enjoy it. The bridge is also annoying, with her trying to rap [please, white female pop stars, please stop trying to rap, it does not work, you all suck at it (except for you, Dua Lipa, you're chill)] and failing miserably at it.
Why did I give this a -1/5? Well, this song is representative of everything I find wrong with this generation's pop music. An obnoxious tone, dour basslines, and fitting to trends they don't belong in. Well, I'm at least glad what Demi Lovato did after this was good.... right? Right? Uh... well, she released two of the worst political-themed songs I've ever heard in "Commander-in-Chief" and "Swine", so... no. I don't know how she made two songs worse than this, but she did. Good job, Demi. You not only done it, you DONE it.
#2.
Hey... so, do you remember in my #10 entry how I said I disliked how "Bodak Yellow" was named after Kodak Black? Well, funny story... Kodak Black is my #2 entry on this list. I think that's being kind to this atrocity.
2. Tunnel Vision - Kodak Black
I'm gonna be fully honest here: Kodak Black is not just a bad rapper — he’s a genuinely dangerous person. The man has a long list of disturbing charges, including domestic violence, false imprisonment, and more run-ins with the law than I care to recount. You could write a whole rap sheet and mistake it for his discography. And even if you set all of that aside (which you really shouldn’t), the man is still an awful artist.
Let’s start with the obvious: Kodak has one of the worst voices in rap. I know the term “mumble rap” is outdated and cliche at this point, but if it ever fit anyone, it fits Kodak. The man sounds like he’s got a mouth full of marbles and no idea how syllables work. Every track he appears on gets noticeably worse the moment he opens his mouth — “ZEZE,” “Drowning,” “What It Is” — all tanked by his presence. And yes, I’ll be talking about Doechii later this year, so stay tuned.
But “Tunnel Vision” isn’t just bad because of Kodak’s voice. It’s bad because of what it represents: a criminal trying to paint himself as a martyr. The entire song is framed around the idea that people want to see Kodak fail — to see him locked up. And he’s not wrong — because, get this — criminals belong in jail. His verses drip with self-pity and delusion, portraying himself as a victim of the system rather than someone who’s repeatedly harmed others.
The music video doubles down on this narrative, featuring a white MAGA caricature trying to hunt Kodak down, as if his legal troubles are just a product of racism. Now look — the prison-industrial complex is real, and racism absolutely affects who ends up behind bars. But Kodak Black? He’s not being targeted because he’s black. He’s being targeted because he’s committed actual crimes.
Let’s talk lyrics. There’s a line in the cleaned-up version that goes:
“I get any girl I want, any girl I want.”
But do you know what the original line was?
“I get any girl I want, I don’t gotta rape.”
That was a real line he recorded. It’s been censored in later versions, but the fact that Kodak thought that was a flex — something worth bragging about — is horrifying. It’s not edgy. It’s not real. It’s repulsive.
Musically, “Tunnel Vision” is passable — the beat is decent, but Kodak drags it through the mud with his lifeless flow and dead-eyed delivery. There’s no charisma, no rhythm, no conviction. Just a bunch of garbled whining and nonsense over a beat that deserves better. And that’s what makes this song so frustrating. It could have been something — a focused, personal track about real struggle. But instead, it’s just Kodak Black playing the victim, blaming everyone but himself, and sneaking in one of the most disgusting lyrics ever written into a charting hit.
Kodak doesn’t need a system working against him — he’s doing just fine self-sabotaging. And “Tunnel Vision” is proof of that.
And now, before we get to #1, some dishonorable mentions.
Dishonorable Mentions
DM1. Strip That Down - Liam Payne (feat. Quavo)
Rest in peace, Liam Payne. You deserved better. However, your only hit was an embarrassing flop that apparently never learned the mantra "show, don't tell". You spend the song talking about how you used to be in One Direction and how you're going to make more mature music, but you never actually show us. I wish you had just gotten the chance to show us more.
DM2. Bad Things - Machine Gun Kelly (feat. Camila Cabello)
Turns out MGK was playing the bad samples game a lot earlier than "Lonely Road" this past year. This samples Fastball's song "Out of My Head" and turns it into an emo rap song with Camila Cabello singing the chorus. It's just not good. It isn't as atrocious as the aforementioned collaboration with Jelly Roll, but it's still an unnecessary song.
DM3. What About Us - P!nk
P!nk's fall-off needs to be studied. She used to be one of the most progressive acts in music, breaking boundaries and creating genuinely awesome music. Then she started making some of the most generic, boring music ever made. This is no exception - "What About Us" is a bland, gutless piece of garbage that doesn't do anything to justify its own existence.
Hailee Steinfeld really just needs to stick to acting. She's got a nice voice, but the lyricism in this song may genuinely be some of the worst of all time. "Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo" is just awful songwriting. And then the drop kicks in and just completely sounds like butt. One of the worst drops I've ever heard. Why isn't this on the list? Just didn't have room.
DM5. Too Good At Goodbyes - Sam Smith
God, Sam Smith's voice is irritating when it isn't on a dance track. I don't miss this era of sappy piano ballads from Sam, who clearly didn't know what vocal range they should be using. It's more boring than bad, but I don't know, I can't stand how high the vocals go in this. Just obnoxious to listen to on every level.
DM6. Small Town Boy - Dustin Lynch
Dustin Lynch is one of the most boring artists in country music. He's one of the proprietors of the modern "list a bunch of country cliches and call it a day" trend that it's become. "Small Town Boy" isn't his worst song (leave that to the genuinely infuriating "Chevrolet"), but it is just not good. Lynch doesn't have much of a personality and the production is just very bland.
DM7. JuJu On That Beat - Zay Hilfigerrr & Zayion McCall
Two immature children taking an instrumental from a big rap hit ("Knuck If You Buck") and somehow turning it into a vine hit. The lyrics in this are just offensively terrible, they don't rhyme, and these two have the charisma of a wet paper towel. The only reason it's not on the list proper is because these two are such nobodies that, for a long time, they didn't even have their own Wikipedia page, and nobody even remembers they or this song exist. Let's keep it that way.
DM8. Thunder - Imagine Dragons
Ah, Imagine Dragons. "Thunder" is probably their biggest hit, and it's also probably their worst. This is so minimalistic and boring that it genuinely makes me question whether the label of "alternative rock" really fits them. This song is the antithesis of everything rock music stands for. It used to be a guilty pleasure, but now I understand why everyone hates it and will give it the scorn it deserves.
And now, time to reveal the single worst hit song of 2017.
#1
Back in 2017, country music was not nearly as chart-dominant as it is nowadays. You weren't getting country songs hitting #1 for 19 weeks, that's for damn sure. In fact, there were only 4 country songs on the year-end Hot 100 - the aforementioned "Small Town Boy", "Hurricane" by Luke Combs, "In Case You Didn't Know" by Brett Young, and the song I would put at #1 on this list. As much as Kodak Black probably deserves it, I wasn't going to give him that honor. No, instead, I'm giving #1 to what is one of the worst country hits of all time, and a song that is just so bafflingly stupid that I am actually angry that it got popular. This song is the definition of idiocy, so of course it came from a man who has somehow backed into every bit of success he's had as a country artist.
1. Body Like A Back Road - Sam Hunt
This should surprise no one. If you saw Sam Hunt on the thumbnail for this article and noticed I hadn’t mentioned him yet, you knew this was coming. Let me be clear: “Body Like a Back Road” is the worst country #1 single of all time. And honestly, it’s not even close. This song is the go-to example whenever someone asks me what’s wrong with modern country music. It’s lazy, obnoxious, and dumber than a box of gravel. Even the title alone raises enough red flags to evacuate a state fair.
Let’s get this out of the way. “Body Like a Back Road.” Why? Why are we romanticizing dirt roads? Why are we comparing a woman’s body to something with potholes, loose gravel, and poor drainage?
It’s not poetic. It’s not clever. It sounds like Sam Hunt is one beer away from seducing a tractor. This metaphor is not just bad — it’s cursed.
The first verse starts off simple enough:
“Got a girl from the southside, got braids in her hair.”
Okay, decent detail. Nothing offensive yet. But then:
“First time I seen her walk by, man I bout fell up out my chair.”
“Had to get her number, took me like six weeks.”
If it takes you six weeks to get someone’s number, Sam, that’s not persistence — that’s called ignoring boundaries. Eventually, he gets it, but then drops this gem:
“Now me and her go way back like Cadillac seats.”
Wait... what? You just spent a month and a half trying to get her number. That’s not “going way back.” That’s meeting someone two Tuesdays ago and deciding it’s fate. Sam, please. Connect your dots.
Here’s where the wheels fully fall off:
“Body like a back road, drivin’ with my eyes closed.”
Ignoring the metaphor (which I wish I could), driving with your eyes closed is literally deadly. You will crash, Sam. That’s not romantic. That’s just criminal negligence.
“I know every curve like the back of my hand.”
“Doin’ 15 in a 30, I ain’t in no hurry.”
Again — this isn't sweet, it’s just creepy and inconsiderate. Driving slowly is fine, but if there’s a line of frustrated cars behind you, that’s not love, that’s being a public nuisance.
“I’ma take it slow just as fast as I can."
What does this mean. Seriously, what does this mean? Are you trying to say you’re rushing to take things slow? That you finish quickly? Because that’s the only way this lyric reads.
“Way she fit in them blue jeans, she don't need no belt.”
Sure. Belts are apparently canceled now. But then:
“I can turn them inside out, I don’t need no help.”
Okay. Stop. Please. The image is gross, the phrasing is worse, and you sound like you’ve never spoken to a woman without a guitar in your hand.
“Got hips like honey, so thick and so sweet.”
Alright, finally, a compliment that doesn’t involve infrastructure. But he immediately backslides:
“There ain’t no curves like hers on them downtown streets.”
WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT ROADS. Sam. If you want to sleep with pavement, talk to a professional. This is beyond metaphor now. This is a cry for help.
“We’re out here with the boondocks with the breeze and the birds.”
“Tangled up in the tall grass with my lips on hers.”
Okay, passable. But then:
“On a highway to heaven, headed south of her smile.”
“Get there when we get there, every inch is a mile.”
...What? Is this a love song or a GPS error message? “We'll get there when we get there” is what you say when your kids are screaming in the back seat. It’s not sexy. It’s just exhausting.
To make matters worse, “Body Like a Back Road” is painfully catchy. It’s an earworm — the kind that burrows into your brain and refuses to leave, even when you beg. The production is stripped-down and watered-out, like someone tried to make R&B and country have a baby in a tin can. It’s flat. It’s dull. It’s the musical equivalent of room-temperature tap water.
This song makes me genuinely angry every time I hear it. It’s a disaster of metaphor, tone, and execution. And while I don’t hate Sam Hunt — I actually enjoy “23” and “House Party” — this track is an unforgivable stain on his discography. Even “Tunnel Vision” — as morally reprehensible as it was — didn’t have the gall to be this proudly stupid. Sam, if you release another song like this, we’re going to have words. In fact, I just heard “Country House,” and... yeah. Stay tuned for December. For now: “Body Like a Back Road” — a garbage fire set to music. No wonder people think you suck.
That's all for today. I'm Lando from the Landoman Experiment, and this has been a time. Hope it was a good one! Thanks for reading, and have a good day.
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