The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2018
Oh boy, we're in for a challenge with this one. 2018 is widely considered to be one of the worst music years of all time, and I completely see why. The charts were rough in 2018. Everything was moody and depressing. Even the fun music was completely unlistenable. So many artists had reprehensible pasts and issues that they straight up dealt with in their music. Unlike some of my worst lists, where I can make fun of silly songs that don't make sense and fail in a fun way, this is not going to be that. Sure, there will be some fun targets, but the worst of 2018 wasn't bad in a fun way. It was bad in a way that requires me to be meticulous and thorough in how I take them down.
You know my rules. Anything that charted in the top 50 of the Billboard Hot 100 or hit the year-end Hot 100 is eligible for my list unless I feel that it is well-known enough to warrant an exception. I didn't have to warrant any exceptions for 2018 because most of the bad songs were big enough to either make the year-end or the top 50. I don't wanna keep you too long, so here we go.
#10.
The end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018 saw the peak of trap music as the dominant rap subgenre. The reception to this was polarizing, with many praising artists like Migos and Lil Uzi Vert while criticizing other artists. I like trap music, though. Drum machines can be really awesome when programmed correctly, and the minimalistic sound it creates allows for interesting flows and lyrics to take center stage. Trap music can be done poorly, though. For example...
10. Esskeetit - Lil Pump
Lil Pump is probably the easiest target on this whole list. He's the example everybody points to when talking about mumble rap as a genre, considering that "Gucci Gang" is one of the dumbest songs to ever hit it big. I actually like that song, funnily enough, but his follow-up, "Esskeetit" is soooo much worse. The title is a malformed version of his catchphrase "Let's get it", much like the title "U.O.E.N.O." was to mean "You don't even know" back in 2013. It's just so absurdly stupid. It doesn't help that the production on this is horrific, with a swampy bass that just sounds completely wrong.
The lyrics of "Esskeetit" aren't anything morally reprehensible, but they're mostly just rap cliches that don't add anything of substance or value to the song. Lil Pump's flows on this are fine, I guess, but the production is just so awful that it's hard for me to enjoy listening to any of this. There are some dumb lyrics, I guess, like "I got a fridge on my neck" and "Got a penthouse sitting on my wrist", both of which are physically impossible unless you're the Incredible Hulk or something. Pump, you're not only a terrible rapper but you're also breaking the laws of physics. I do not understand.
"Esskeetit" is not the worst song I've ever heard, but it's one of the most worthless. I don't see what this adds to the music scene. There's already hundreds of songs with this sentiment that sound so much better and are performed by much more competent rappers. I will say it's not the worst song Lil Pump has ever made, because, well....
#9.
The legacy change of Kanye West since 2018 has been something to behold. He made a Christian album, then decided to go on a podcast and say he "loves Hitler", and now he's tweeting full on Nazi rhetoric like a piece of garbage. Kanye was one of the greatest artists of our generation, and now he's a pathetic man-child with no filter who needs to go back on his meds. All of that is leading to the fact that we should've seen this coming because, well, when you start making stuff like this, you start to worry me.
9. I Love It - Kanye West & Lil Pump
I don't get it. I can tell they think they're being funny with this, considering the Adele Givens sample that drives the beginning of the song, but it just comes across as immature and childish in a non-fun way. Both artists where these Minecraft-esque suits in the music video, which.... what does that have to do with anything? I'm honestly baffled that this song even exists. Kanye and Lil Pump doesn't make any sense as a duo, and it doesn't work in practice. Lil Pump's voice is lathered in so much autotune that it's to the point you wonder if he has any sense of tone as well. Kanye then repeats the same line over and over before going into a completely terrible verse. Both artists are completely inept on this song and it drives me up a wall.
The worst part of this song, though, is the lack of personality in the production. The song features the same bassline over and over again and very minimalistic percussion that just puts you to sleep. It's so draining and obnoxious. It makes an already bad set of lyrics even worse. "Your boyfriend is a dork, McLovin" might be the best lyric in the song, and that's just sad. It just feels like this was a bet somebody made with two middle schoolers to see how many times they could say the word "fuck" in a song and get away with it. It's honestly kind of pathetic when you think about it.
This was the start of Kanye's downward spiral for me. It's not the worst song he's ever made, but seeing his standards set this low was concerning. "I'm a sick fuck", Kanye says in this. Indeed, Kanye. You are sick. Sick in the head. Not just for your Nazism, but also for thinking this was acceptable to release to the public. Completely embarrassing on every level. Pathetic.
#8.
Do you remember in my 2019 best list when I said "Marshmello is pretty great when you don't have someone in your ear telling you he's not"? Well... I guess that's partly true. I typically like Marshmello, but overcoming an obnoxious sentiment is not something he's built to do. His biggest hit in 2018 was built on a sentiment I find honestly disgusting, and marketed with an even worse sentiment. What song was that, exactly? Well...
8. Friends - Marshmello & Anne-Marie
Being put in the friendzone is a pretty rough experience for so many people, because it's hard to continue a friendship after that. Well, Marshmello and Anne-Marie are here to solve the problem by creating what they've dubbed the "Official Friendzone Anthem"! Surely, encouraging more people to ruin friendships is going to solve so many problems in this world. Great job, idiots. I hate this marketing tactic so much. The friendzone is miserable for every side involved, and is not something to celebrate because it can actually cause people who were good friends to drift apart.
"Friends" also shows Anne-Marie to be an incompetent storyteller. If you've told this guy 6000 times that you're not interested, the best way to prove that is to cut him off completely. I know you've known him since you were like ten, but if he's showing up at 2 AM in the rain and still trying after that many times, you have no other choice. There's also the spelling of the word "Friends" in the chorus that is so rushed that it makes it sound like they're spelling it wrong, although you can hear the "E" if you really try. The production on this is also some of Marshmello's worst. The final chorus has some of the swampiest EDM production I've ever heard and it brings all momentum to a halt.
#7.
Picture this. You're watching the Super Bowl. The Eagles are up at halftime against the Tom Brady-led New England Patriots and the halftime show is about to start. Justin Timberlake is the headliner, and you're hoping he plays one of his big hits to start, like "Sexy Back" or "Suit & Tie". Instead... he plays whatever the hell this was.
7. Filthy - Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake's Man of the Woods was truly a disaster of an album. We should've known it would be by the fact that this was the lead single. I cannot believe Timberlake thought this was a good idea. A watered-down dubstep song for a guy trying to re-establish himself as one of the biggest pop stars in the world. I get why he used this to lead the Super Bowl, though. It's an intro to a new era for Justin. An "I'm back" single. Unfortunately, he already used this trick once with "Sexy Back" and, while it worked there, it does not work here.
This song is a mess. The production is absolute garbage, with the dubstep sound being very watered-down and Justin Timberlake's voice being drowned in filters and being place toward the back of the mix for some reason. The song is called "Filthy" but there's nothing filthy about it. He says "no this ain't the clean version" but there's no curse words or sexual undertones behind it, other than the line "what you gonna do with all that meat" which... what? I know how Justin wanted that to sound, but that is not how it comes across whatsoever. Once again, it's just a mess.
"Filthy" dropped basically immediately. There was no momentum coming into the Super Bowl for this song. It only peaked at #9 and didn't even hit the year-end Hot 100. That's rough considering his last single before this, "Can't Stop The Feeling", debuted at #1 on the charts and completely dominated 2016. It also doesn't fit the country themes of the albums at all. I just don't get what he was going for whatsoever. It's a misguided attempt at a sex jam that isn't sexy. Justin brought sexy back, and he took it away all the same.
#6.
From one Super Bowl halftime show to the next. While Justin Timberlake's show at least had some good moments, I cannot say the same for Maroon 5. Adam Levine has always had an irritating voice, and it really came through in one of the worst shows of all time. Of course, considering that the show was the Rams-Patriots snoozefest where neither team even deserved to be there, I guess it's what that game deserved. What am I leading into here? Oh yeah, Maroon 5 sucks.
6. Girls Like You - Maroon 5 (feat. Cardi B)
While "Filthy" was a disaster, at least it was an interesting disaster. This song is just boring. It's substance anti-matter that doesn't manage to justify its own existence. It's only this low on the list because Cardi B at least attempts to salvage it, but Maroon 5 then comes back in and reminds me why this sucks so much. "Girls Like You" is Maroon 5's worst song. Full stop. It's not particularly close. At least their other songs like "Animals", "One More Night", and "Maps" have some sort of personality. Anyone could've made this.
Are there any interesting lyrics in this song? No. Nothing that warrants me making fun of it. Other than Levine admitting he's "barely alive" in the bridge, it's all just cliches about relationships that does nothing to emotionally captivate anybody. The guitars sound awful and too close-up to be interesting. The percussion is nothingness. It's all nothingness. It's so bland and boring that I can't imagine how anyone could get any pleasure out of listening to it.
What makes things worse is that this is one of the biggest songs of all time. It ranked at #5 on the decade-end Hot 100 for the 2010s, has over 3.7 billion views on YouTube, and was certified Diamond by the RIAA. How? Genuinely, how the hell did this happen? This song has nothing going for it at ALL. It's a 4-chord pop song that simplifies it all down to the bare bones, minimum required effort to make it even work as a song, which it doesn't. This doesn't provide any emotional weight. This doesn't sound good. It's awful.
#5.
I don't talk about a lot of foreign-language music on these lists, mostly because I don't understand the lyrics and the sound is never bad enough to put it on the list on its own. That was what I thought until I put this list together. In 2018, there was a Spanish song on the charts that was so inept that I decided it was worthy of a spot on the list above songs I genuinely hate like "Girls Like You" and "Filthy". How?
5. Te Bote (Remix) - Casper, Nio Garcia, Darell, Nicky Jam, Bad Bunny & Ozuna
Who decided we needed a 7-minute long, slow reggaeton slog where 6 artists use some of the most annoying vocal effects I've ever heard to hit the year-end Hot 100 in 2018? Worse... why does this song have 2.5 billion views? It sounds like crap. It's got boring production and every artist on this is mixed in an abysmal way. I know most of these artists and they don't usually sound this bad. It's definitely the work of incompetent production that creates this awful sound I'm hearing. It also doesn't help that, once again, it's SEVEN MINUTES LONG. There are very few songs that I'd be willing to listen to for seven minutes, and this is not one of them.
What is "Te Bote" about, exactly? The title means "I dumped you", so this is a song about a breakup. It's a very narcissistic breakup, too, as these artists brag to the girl they dumped about their new girl and discuss how much this girl "failed" and "humiliated" them. I could already tell by the tone of the song that it was very sarcastic, but knowing what it's about rubs me the wrong way now. That wasn't a factor in its placement, though. I actually think it's one of the worst-sounding songs I've ever heard in my entire life, and I cannot believe that anybody thought this was good.
What kind of mood do you have to be in to listen to this? It's not a party song, but it's not a song to listen to when you're sad either. I guess it's a song for a state of confusion? Like how I'm confused as to why it was so popular? Again... seven minutes. Seven. Minutes. I'd rather listen to paint dry for seven minutes than listen to this crap again. Go jump in a volcano, you nerds.
#4.
A lot of people have described "bad" as "the absence of good" on lists like these. That has held true for me as well, with generic, unmotivated songs sometimes being worse than songs that tried and failed. My #4 pick for 2018 is quite possibly the least ambitious song I've ever heard in my entire life, and it comes from two artists with a history of mediocrity and cringe that don't manage to justify their musical credibility one time in a song so worthless, it makes me question if this is what music was (ahem) meant to be.
4. Meant To Be - Bebe Rexha (feat. Florida Georgia Line)
Not only that, but this song has some of the blandest lyrics ever put to paper. Other than Florida Georgia Line admitting that at least one of them has a foot fetish, the song is just a bunch of love song cliches about it being "meant to be", in which the chorus has 6 out of 8 lines ending in the word "be" as if they didn't try to rhyme whatsoever. There are no other lyrics to note, either, because the entire song is fluff meant to fill airtime on the radio rather than actually be thought-provoking or enjoyable as music. Well, there is the line at the end of the 2nd verse "wait, hold up girl, don't you know you're beautiful, and it's easy to see?" which has nothing to do with the rest of the verse where Bebe relents on men that didn't treat her correctly. She never implied that she doesn't think that, morons. This is worse than that time One Direction tried to make a whole song out of that premise (we'll discuss that eventually (: )
"Meant To Be" is an awful song. Not because it sounds horrendous or has reprehensible lyrics, but because it is music anti-matter. It's a song meant to fill airtime on country radio made by 3 people with not a single original bone in their body. It's a song I hated when I was 13 years old in 2018 and heard it on the bus, and it's a song I hate now. It's one of the worst country songs I've ever heard in my entire life, and I hope we can all just forget its mere, uneventful existence.
And that's not even the worst part. Lil Dicky ramps up the joke at the end by switching bodies with Ed Sheeran, who he actually got to sing about how much cooler Chris Brown is than him. He also got DJ Khaled, which is probably the funniest part of the song. Finally, he brings in Kendall Jenner. Of course, being Lil Dicky, he decides he's immediately going to explore her private parts because he's a massive creep with no boundaries. This song is worthless. The fact that it's somehow not the worst hit of the year or even the second worst hit of the year makes my mind explode. Hopefully both careers here can die off.
#3.
2018 saw the rise of some truly reprehensible sentiments in the music industry. This song isn't the worst of them (you'll see later), but it's one of the dumbest songs I think I've ever heard in my entire life. Comparing yourself to a woman-beater a la Kanye West in "Carnival" is one thing. Wishing to actually be one? I don't even know what to say at this point, Lil Dicky. You wanted to start your hit-making days with a bang. Too bad it was a complete joke.
3. Freaky Friday - Lil Dicky (feat. Chris Brown)
Lil Dicky is a talentless hack. Everybody knows Lil Dicky is a talentless hack. Heck, I even think Lil Dicky himself knows he's a talentless hack. It's why he's constantly making penis and sex jokes instead of trying to come up with something clever. I will give him this, though. The idea for "Freaky Friday" could've been clever if he hadn't chosen quite possibly the worst possible person to use this with. Let me just put it simply. Chris Brown does not deserve one ounce of success as a musician. Not only is he a reprehensible human being, but his music also flat-out sucks most of the time. Sure, he's had a couple good songs here and there, but I'd rather just listen to somebody talented like... I don't know, Usher?
The main joke of "Freaky Friday" is that Chris Brown switches bodies with Lil Dicky. Lil Dicky (portrayed by Chris Brown) delights in the joy of being Chris Brown because he is (no joke) able to say the n-word, can FaceTime Kanye West (boy did that age well), and has large genitalia. I love how Dicky's first instinct when inside Chris Brown's body is to say the n-word a bunch of times. Truly the mind of a 12-year-old indeed. Meanwhile, Chris Brown (portrayed by Lil Dicky) delights in being Lil Dicky because he can relax, and isn't being judged for his "controversial past".
Is this worse than "we forgive you, Germany?" Probably not.
Do I hate it more? Yes.
Chris Brown's past is not "controversial". He brutally attacked Rihanna and put her in the hospital. He has had numerous legal issues over the years, including fighting Frank Ocean and Drake, breaking a man's nose, performing a hit-and-run, and allegedly threatening another woman with a gun. This is not a person worth keeping around in the music industry. This song treats him like some sort of role model and dismisses these things like they're nothing. Reprehensible behavior from you, Lil Dicky.
#2.
This entry is going to get... heavy. The artist involved in this entry passed away in 2018, at the way-too-young age of 20 years old. This song was released before his death, and I'm not going to shy away from talking about it just because he died, but I do feel kind of bad giving it the same scorn I gave "Freaky Friday" and "Meant To Be". Does it deserve it? Yes. Am I going to do that? No. I'm not going to get angry with this entry, but I'm going to try my best to be analytical and explain why, despite the clear talent of the man who made it and all of the people who he influenced before his death, this song fails.
2. SAD! - XXXTentacion
"SAD!" by XXXTentacion is a very difficult song for me to wrap my head around. X used this song to announce the death of the old version of himself, with a music video featuring a funeral and everything. Unfortunately, this video was released after X himself had actually passed away, making it somewhat awkward to watch now. So, why do I think "SAD!" is one of the worst songs of 2018? It sounds alright, I guess. The beat is solid and X has pretty good flows throughout the entire song. What does this song do so wrong that I'm calling it worse than "Freaky Friday"? Well, the reason is pretty simple.
The main premise of the chorus of this song is that X is going to kill himself if this girl tries to leave him. I'm not reading too deep into it, I'm not reaching for conclusions, no. That's what this song is about. The lyric literally says "suicide if you ever try to let go". Let's put it simply. If you threaten to kill yourself because your significant other tries to leave you, you are manipulative and remorseless. It's one of the most evil things someone can do to another, and having a Billboard #1 hit dedicated to this idea genuinely disgusts me.
Look, I know XXXTentacion meant a lot to a lot of people, and I understand that. He had some great music in his time. This just wasn't one of them. This song has over 2 billion streams on Spotify, showing that this disturbing sentiment was spread to people all over the world. It feels wrong that the music scene embraced this song with open arms. When this song was removed from Spotify due to its "hateful content" policy, there was a lot of backlash. I can't figure out why. This song is awful because it promotes this idea of using suicide as leveraging to prevent your partner from leaving you as normal. It's not because it sounds bad (it doesn't), but because what it is doing is leaving a stain on the minds of impressionable young individuals who looked up to X as a role model.
Rest in peace, XXXTentacion. I could tell you were genuinely trying to be a better person at the end of your life, and I'm sorry you couldn't be here to do that.
And now, before I reveal the worst hit song of 2018, some dishonorable mentions.
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
DM1. Yes Indeed - Lil Baby (feat. Drake)
Lil Baby's mainstream breakthrough, with the help of the biggest name in music in 2018, Drake. This song is mostly mediocre, but there's a weird line in here where Lil Baby says something about Jewish people liking voo-doo, which struck me as anti-Semitic. Doesn't help that he literally goes "wah wah wah, bitch I'm the baby", which might be the funniest lyric of the decade if it wasn't so painfully sad.
DM2. Him & I - G-Eazy & Halsey
They really wanted to be the next Jay-Z and Beyonce for a little bit there. Their breakup instantly made this song all the more insufferable. I see it as an anthem to toxic, controlling relationships that are destined to fail no matter how hard they try to keep it together. Honestly more embarrassing than anything.
DM3. You Make It Easy - Jason Aldean
I realized while preparing for this list that Jason Aldean may just be the worst country star. His voice sucks, he doesn't even write his own songs, and one of his biggest hits is literally about how he cheated on his wife and doesn't regret it whatsoever. This song is also garbage. It's the most generic song Aldean has ever made. This also wasn't written by Aldean, and was actually written by, strangely enough, Morgan Wallen and Florida Georgia Line. Makes sense.
DM4. I'm Upset - Drake
You're upset, Drake? You think your bounty is too low? What are you, Julius Caesar? This was easily the worst of Drake's hits in 2018, which is saying something because he had like 50 of them. I'm upset that this song charted.
DM5. Changes - XXXTentacion
This song is dreadful. It has 5 total unique lyrics and is a bland piano ballad. The only reason it's not on the list proper is because it's barely a song and barely a hit. Still awful in every way, but not something I could see myself talking about for more than like 3 sentences.
DM6. All Girls Are The Same - Juice WRLD
2018 was also the breakout year of Juice WRLD, who would sadly pass away in 2019 from an overdose. This is his worst solo single in my eyes, spewing misogynistic lyrics about how "all girls are the same" and featuring an underproduced beat and poorly mixed vocals. At least "Lucid Dreams" was good, because I don't know what could've saved this.
DM7. Never Be The Same - Camila Cabello
Camila Cabello pronouncing "heroin" as "harrow ween" may be the worst musical moment of 2018. This song isn't on the list because there are parts of it I like and that's just a minor footnote of the song, but still. Harrow ween. What were you thinking, Camila?
DM8. FEFE - 6ix9ine (feat. Nicki Minaj & Murda Beatz)
6ix9ine is a dangerous psychopath rat who looks like a cross between Jared Leto's Joker and a wall in the back alley behind an abandoned subway. This song did not deserve attention, and this pathetic excuse for a human being does not deserve any success in the music industry or in whatever else he tries to do. This isn't on the list just because it isn't the worst thing I've heard from Mr. Six-ix Nine-ine over here, but the fact that we let this guy chart at all is an indictment on the American public.
And now, for the worst hit song of 2018.
#1.
I tried not to get angry in the "SAD!" segment, but there's only so much you can do when a song comes with so much baggage that genuinely infuriates you. I'm not going to try not to get angry here. My #1 pick for 2018 is a song so horrendously bad that I can't help but get anything but angry when hearing it. It's made by a pathetic human being, it sounds like complete garbage, and unlike his other hit this year, actually has the reprehensible lyrics that turn this into an unsalvageable dumpster fire. The worst song of the year should represent everything wrong with the music of a given year, and I feel that this does that. So what was the worst song of the year?
1. GUMMO - 6ix9ine
6ix9ine is a clown with a long history of reprehensible behavior with absolutely no sign of remorse coming whatsoever. He was involved in a child sexual performance charge in 2015, and he pled guilty. Sure, he claimed to have no sexual contact with the girl, but the fact that he was there at all tells me the kind of person he is. Why am I bringing this up?
"Gummo" features a line where 6ix9ine says "I don't f*ck with no old hoes, only new hoes".
What do you mean by that, Daniel? What does that mean?
That is quite possibly the worst thing you could say as someone who is, in no light terms, a pedophile. Not only did you sit back and watch as 2 of your friends raped a 13-year-old, you were also enjoying it, you freak. This is not just embarrassing, it's evil. Pure evil.
"Gummo" is the worst hit song of the 2010s. I'm not exaggerating, I'm not being overdramatic. This is it. This is the worst. It has one of the worst beats I've ever heard, and it sounds menacing and devilish when combined with 6ix9ine's loathsome voice and lyrics. Let's go over some of those lyrics that aren't the pedophile one. The song opens with 6ix9ine moaning in some very awkward and cringey ways while saying "Ni**as iffy, uh, blicky got the stiffy, uh". What. Are. You. Doing. You. Moron? You're not black. Why are you saying the n-word? And why does everybody else seem okay with it? He also brags about taking someone else's girl and then kicking girls out the door after screwing them. Sure, these are normal lyrics for rap songs, but coming from this guy, it sounds just as evil.
I don't want to dignify this sack of crap any further. "Gummo" is one of the worst songs ever to hit the Hot 100 and one of the worst songs ever made in general. 6ix9ine is a pedophile, a rat, and a demon who deserves no sympathy or respect from anyone. If you listen to his music, I am judging you. I am not the type to do that on a typical basis, but 6ix9ine is such a reprehensible human being that I am willing to make an exception. They need to send this guy back to prison, where he belongs.
And with that, we're done.
I'm Lando from the Landoman Experiment, I hope you enjoyed reading this, and have a good day.
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